Faith hope and cancer

WEBVTT

1
00:00:03.540 –> 00:00:07.080
The Cornwall Cancer Cafe podcast with Matthew Clarke.

2
00:00:07.320 –> 00:00:13.340
And welcome to another edition and as often is the case, I have Emma Coombe with me.

3
00:00:13.620 –> 00:00:17.780
Hello, Matthew. Good morning, I should say. It is morning, just about.

4
00:00:18.120 –> 00:00:18.860
Just about.

5
00:00:19.060 –> 00:00:23.320
Thanks to the National Lottery Community Fund for supporting this podcast.

6
00:00:23.620 –> 00:00:32.560
So we’re in the crypt of St Andrew’s Church in Redruth and we’ve got all sorts of

7
00:00:32.560 –> 00:00:38.800
things around here. We’ve got a crucifix on the wall, we’ve got a keyboard, we’ve got

8
00:00:39.140 –> 00:00:43.640
a photocopier, it’s all sorts of things mixed together.

9
00:00:44.740 –> 00:00:50.400
And we’re going to talk about a very interesting topic to a lot of men this week, aren’t we, Emma?

10
00:00:50.920 –> 00:00:57.040
Yes, we are. So to summarise before we begin, I walked into the Sunrise Centre

11
00:00:57.800 –> 00:01:03.580
for an appointment and set eyes on someone I did not expect to see there.

12
00:01:04.480 –> 00:01:11.100
And this person was going through something and needed it to be private until they were ready to share.

13
00:01:12.320 –> 00:01:17.700
But I was there for a quick chat and hopefully I was helpful at the time.

14
00:01:18.280 –> 00:01:26.280
But today we are going to be talking to Father Peter from Redruth, who is going to share his story with us.

15
00:01:26.280 –> 00:01:29.360
OK, so we’ll meet Father Peter in a moment.

16
00:01:29.660 –> 00:01:36.500
First of all, I’ve got to tell everyone that this is sponsored or funded rather by the

17
00:01:36.500 –> 00:01:44.320
National Lottery Community Fund. So thank you very much to them and remind anyone listening

18
00:01:44.320 –> 00:01:51.660
that we are not medically trained. We are not psychiatrists, counsellors.

19
00:01:51.660 –> 00:01:56.500
What we are are people with lived experience of cancer.

20
00:01:57.620 –> 00:02:03.780
So that’s the first thing. Second thing to remember is that everyone is different.

21
00:02:03.860 –> 00:02:08.520
So you might hear something in this podcast and you think, oh, why aren’t I feeling that?

22
00:02:08.600 –> 00:02:15.340
Well, everyone is different. Every cancer experience is different and every cancer is different too.

23
00:02:15.340 –> 00:02:21.700
So don’t feel that you should be feeling something that is mentioned in this podcast.

24
00:02:22.340 –> 00:02:26.320
Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. Hopefully it’ll be helpful though.

25
00:02:26.680 –> 00:02:34.060
And the third thing to say is this is a big hug to everyone who is going through the mill at the moment.

26
00:02:34.740 –> 00:02:39.280
So Emma, I think it’s time that you introduced Father Peter to us.

27
00:02:39.860 –> 00:02:43.000
So I’ve known Father Peter for a very, very long time.

28
00:02:44.480 –> 00:02:45.280
20 years.

29
00:02:46.900 –> 00:02:51.000
I play saxophone. I don’t know whether we’ve mentioned that before in any of our podcasts, but I play…

30
00:02:51.000 –> 00:02:52.540
I think we did. We have, yes.

31
00:02:52.940 –> 00:02:57.440
But wait, there’s no point not sort of going into it again. You play saxophone, don’t you?

32
00:02:57.480 –> 00:03:00.180
I play the saxophone. I play the saxophone. I play it in a big band.

33
00:03:00.560 –> 00:03:05.880
And our band has been rehearsing at Christchurch in Lana where Father Peter officiates.

34
00:03:06.080 –> 00:03:06.840
Is that the correct word?

35
00:03:06.840 –> 00:03:09.320
Yeah, I’m sort of…

36
00:03:09.320 –> 00:03:16.000
Well, 20 years ago, I was the priest in charge of Christchurch in Lana and the church in Four Lanes.

37
00:03:16.700 –> 00:03:23.220
And I retired early 14 years ago, but the bishop said to me, just carry on working.

38
00:03:23.600 –> 00:03:27.980
So I do. So I’m still linked with Christchurch where the band plays.

39
00:03:28.840 –> 00:03:35.760
So through that, I’ve met Father Peter many, many times and I think we’re friends now.

40
00:03:37.540 –> 00:03:40.520
We’re brother and sister because of this.

41
00:03:41.500 –> 00:03:44.280
We are. You call me your sunrise sister now, don’t you?

42
00:03:44.360 –> 00:03:47.100
Yeah. I’ll tell you how it all happened.

43
00:03:47.800 –> 00:03:55.520
About two years ago, someone in one of my congregations told me they had prostate cancer.

44
00:03:56.800 –> 00:04:03.820
And we got a big fundraising evening for them and Prostate Cancer UK.

45
00:04:04.440 –> 00:04:09.060
And a result of that, lots of publicity material was left in the church,

46
00:04:09.940 –> 00:04:14.020
which I used to walk past and think, oh, I’m glad I haven’t got it.

47
00:04:15.280 –> 00:04:21.120
And then one day I walked past it and I thought, perhaps I’d better take a test.

48
00:04:21.640 –> 00:04:27.260
And it was a sort of time when really high profile people were coming out in the media

49
00:04:27.260 –> 00:04:29.380
and saying they got prostate cancer.

50
00:04:29.380 –> 00:04:38.080
So anyway, I took the test and all hell broke loose because my count was too high.

51
00:04:38.780 –> 00:04:45.060
They discovered through a scan that the cancer was on the edge of the prostate.

52
00:04:45.180 –> 00:04:47.280
So it was a danger it would break through.

53
00:04:47.820 –> 00:04:49.700
It was at grade three.

54
00:04:50.620 –> 00:04:55.000
And they said, you’ve got to have surgery and you’ve got to have radiotherapy.

55
00:04:55.740 –> 00:04:57.900
So you just better get on with that.

56
00:04:57.900 –> 00:05:03.900
So I was sent to a series of consultations with people.

57
00:05:04.540 –> 00:05:08.500
And they decided that they would not remove the prostate,

58
00:05:08.580 –> 00:05:13.120
but they’ll do what’s called a TORP, which is where they drill a hole in it.

59
00:05:13.840 –> 00:05:17.780
And then about two weeks after the surgery, then you go for radiotherapy.

60
00:05:19.360 –> 00:05:24.740
So part of the process before the therapy was going to a bone scan.

61
00:05:24.740 –> 00:05:27.460
And at this stage, nobody knew.

62
00:05:27.980 –> 00:05:33.020
I didn’t tell anybody, not my family, not my best friend in the world.

63
00:05:33.560 –> 00:05:34.300
Nobody knew.

64
00:05:35.560 –> 00:05:38.080
And so off I go to do the bone scan.

65
00:05:38.680 –> 00:05:46.640
And the clerk at the bone scan department in Trilisk was someone I knew very well

66
00:05:46.640 –> 00:05:49.620
from my work in a primary school.

67
00:05:50.080 –> 00:05:53.700
And I thought, oh, now it will be around the whole village.

68
00:05:53.700 –> 00:05:56.680
And she was looking down at her papers.

69
00:05:57.300 –> 00:06:01.100
And when she looked up, she just looked at me and said, name.

70
00:06:03.260 –> 00:06:05.820
And then I just told her my name.

71
00:06:05.820 –> 00:06:07.480
And this is someone I knew really well.

72
00:06:07.800 –> 00:06:09.760
She wrote all the details down.

73
00:06:10.620 –> 00:06:14.980
And at the end, she just said, no one will know from me.

74
00:06:15.660 –> 00:06:17.480
And that was overwhelming.

75
00:06:17.660 –> 00:06:20.920
It’s overwhelming now just to tell you.

76
00:06:20.960 –> 00:06:22.420
And she never told a soul.

77
00:06:22.420 –> 00:06:24.960
And I used to see her in the local quiz.

78
00:06:25.880 –> 00:06:27.300
She never told anybody.

79
00:06:28.520 –> 00:06:30.740
So the journey goes on.

80
00:06:31.280 –> 00:06:32.380
Surgery was done.

81
00:06:33.000 –> 00:06:37.040
I had to have a catheter, which I called Clarence Clearwater.

82
00:06:38.200 –> 00:06:40.520
And so I’d be at the altar with my catechon.

83
00:06:41.220 –> 00:06:43.500
And under it would be Clarence Clearwater.

84
00:06:45.000 –> 00:06:47.400
And then it was radiotherapy.

85
00:06:47.700 –> 00:06:50.560
And they said, oh, you’ll have to have 20 sessions.

86
00:06:50.560 –> 00:06:52.560
I said, I can’t possibly.

87
00:06:52.840 –> 00:06:56.720
My diary will not sustain 20 sessions.

88
00:06:57.240 –> 00:07:03.500
And they said, well, you could join a project where we can do it in five.

89
00:07:03.780 –> 00:07:05.620
That will do, I said, five.

90
00:07:06.380 –> 00:07:09.360
And they said, and you’ll have to go on hormone therapy for years.

91
00:07:10.360 –> 00:07:10.860
OK.

92
00:07:12.400 –> 00:07:17.540
So I now will do a publicity stunt for the Sunrise Center.

93
00:07:17.540 –> 00:07:24.900
The Sunrise Center had an enormous impact on me because of the kindness,

94
00:07:26.000 –> 00:07:34.850
the respect, the compassion, the understanding that that center gave to me.

95
00:07:35.440 –> 00:07:37.720
Because I went there all afraid.

96
00:07:38.080 –> 00:07:39.180
And what was going to happen?

97
00:07:39.520 –> 00:07:42.160
Would a beam suddenly surround me?

98
00:07:42.160 –> 00:07:43.760
And would I be burnt up?

99
00:07:44.220 –> 00:07:45.500
But they were just wonderful.

100
00:07:45.500 –> 00:07:52.320
And at the end of the five sessions, I said to them, what can I do?

101
00:07:52.980 –> 00:07:54.760
Can I raise money for you?

102
00:07:55.200 –> 00:07:58.300
And they said, you can raise money if you want to.

103
00:07:58.580 –> 00:08:04.240
But what you can do is to tell people to take the test.

104
00:08:04.880 –> 00:08:07.900
So I knew then I had to go public.

105
00:08:08.500 –> 00:08:12.060
So I wrote a statement which was sent out to all of my churches,

106
00:08:12.060 –> 00:08:15.680
the six churches I work in, telling them what had happened

107
00:08:15.680 –> 00:08:19.860
and how I’d been treated and how wonderful the Sunrise Center was.

108
00:08:20.940 –> 00:08:26.860
And a group of us are now launching a £10,000 appeal for the Sunrise Center,

109
00:08:27.380 –> 00:08:32.580
which comes to fruition in June, on June the 20th in the Penventon Hotel.

110
00:08:32.980 –> 00:08:35.220
And our target is £10,000 for the sunrise.

111
00:08:35.559 –> 00:08:37.940
And I’ll tell you one little thing about the sunrise.

112
00:08:38.320 –> 00:08:41.460
I said to the radiographer one day, I said,

113
00:08:41.460 –> 00:08:44.700
have I got this because I’m gay?

114
00:08:45.060 –> 00:08:48.580
And he said, no, you’ve got it because you’re old.

115
00:08:50.960 –> 00:08:54.900
I have to say, Emma, listening to Father Peter there,

116
00:08:55.100 –> 00:09:02.780
what he mentions is the kindness and the compassion in the Sunrise Center.

117
00:09:03.100 –> 00:09:08.400
I found it in the Cove and in the Hematology and the Headlands Unit.

118
00:09:08.400 –> 00:09:10.760
And the amount of compassion and kindness.

119
00:09:10.760 –> 00:09:13.780
I think you’re just enveloped in it, aren’t you, Father?

120
00:09:14.160 –> 00:09:16.420
I just can’t speak too highly of them.

121
00:09:16.580 –> 00:09:20.220
There was this moment each time when they say,

122
00:09:20.820 –> 00:09:24.280
it’s trousers off, it’s pants off,

123
00:09:24.800 –> 00:09:28.840
and immediately my underwear was coming down.

124
00:09:29.020 –> 00:09:33.000
There was this nurse who slapped a tissue over my bits

125
00:09:33.000 –> 00:09:35.160
so I wouldn’t be embarrassed.

126
00:09:35.160 –> 00:09:42.420
And just that little gesture showed the love and compassion that they have.

127
00:09:42.580 –> 00:09:45.640
And I said to one of the managers one day,

128
00:09:46.080 –> 00:09:49.440
how do you choose such wonderful staff?

129
00:09:49.760 –> 00:09:53.480
And she said, when we interview, we just know.

130
00:09:53.840 –> 00:09:56.140
We just know who will fit in here.

131
00:09:56.800 –> 00:09:59.040
So it’s just the most wonderful place.

132
00:09:59.060 –> 00:10:02.020
And you should just never be afraid to go there

133
00:10:02.020 –> 00:10:04.240
because you think you’re the only one,

134
00:10:04.260 –> 00:10:06.400
and you know there’s a great queue behind you,

135
00:10:06.560 –> 00:10:12.260
but you are the only one at that moment when the beam is surrounding you.

136
00:10:12.440 –> 00:10:20.600
Can I ask what place does faith have in how you deal with everything that’s going on?

137
00:10:20.960 –> 00:10:24.220
I tell people, in fact I was telling them only yesterday

138
00:10:24.220 –> 00:10:27.020
when we did a fundraising event for Parkinson’s,

139
00:10:27.020 –> 00:10:31.500
that whatever darkness surrounds you,

140
00:10:31.860 –> 00:10:34.740
the light of God’s love surrounds you

141
00:10:34.740 –> 00:10:38.940
if you allow it to shatter the darkness

142
00:10:38.940 –> 00:10:42.880
and remember that the light is with you

143
00:10:42.880 –> 00:10:46.100
and you do not face anything alone

144
00:10:46.100 –> 00:10:53.300
because our faith tells us that Jesus had suffered himself on the cross,

145
00:10:53.300 –> 00:10:55.300
that the light suffers for you

146
00:10:55.300 –> 00:10:58.580
and you just have to remember that he is with you

147
00:10:58.580 –> 00:11:00.100
and you are not alone.

148
00:11:00.380 –> 00:11:02.020
And even if you don’t go to church

149
00:11:02.020 –> 00:11:04.720
and even if you don’t think you’ve got a strong faith

150
00:11:04.720 –> 00:11:06.940
or even if you’ve got no faith at all,

151
00:11:07.020 –> 00:11:11.240
I will believe for you that the light surrounds you

152
00:11:11.240 –> 00:11:13.680
and you need not be afraid. Amen.

153
00:11:13.940 –> 00:11:15.460
Thank you very much for that.

154
00:11:15.920 –> 00:11:16.760
Emma, thoughts?

155
00:11:17.560 –> 00:11:18.020
Thoughts?

156
00:11:19.080 –> 00:11:21.240
Well, shall we go back to the Sunrise Centre?

157
00:11:22.500 –> 00:11:23.300
What a place!

158
00:11:23.340 –> 00:11:24.920
I know, it’s amazing, isn’t it?

159
00:11:25.100 –> 00:11:27.600
But the day that I walked in and you were sat there

160
00:11:27.600 –> 00:11:30.580
and you went, oh, I haven’t told anybody yet,

161
00:11:30.580 –> 00:11:31.720
please don’t say anything.

162
00:11:32.080 –> 00:11:34.480
And then about ten minutes later somebody else walked in

163
00:11:34.480 –> 00:11:35.620
and came and sat with you

164
00:11:35.620 –> 00:11:38.480
and it was another family who were also,

165
00:11:38.760 –> 00:11:41.160
a member of the family was in there for treatment

166
00:11:41.650 –> 00:11:43.180
and you had a similar conversation.

167
00:11:43.980 –> 00:11:45.620
But everybody kept your confidence.

168
00:11:45.620 –> 00:11:46.980
Everyone, everyone.

169
00:11:47.140 –> 00:11:49.520
Until you were ready to share your news.

170
00:11:50.100 –> 00:11:51.620
And now everybody knows

171
00:11:51.620 –> 00:11:53.840
because it’s not a secret anymore.

172
00:11:54.600 –> 00:11:59.260
And I say to any group that I might be talking to about it,

173
00:11:59.600 –> 00:12:02.560
the men must take the test.

174
00:12:03.100 –> 00:12:05.080
Do not leave it too late.

175
00:12:05.440 –> 00:12:07.760
Mine was almost too late

176
00:12:07.760 –> 00:12:10.780
because I kept walking past the publicity material

177
00:12:10.780 –> 00:12:12.940
and thinking I hadn’t got it.

178
00:12:12.940 –> 00:12:17.100
You may have no symptoms at all, but take the test.

179
00:12:17.320 –> 00:12:19.440
Don’t wait. Take it.

180
00:12:19.580 –> 00:12:25.380
Do you feel that there is a really strong place these days

181
00:12:25.380 –> 00:12:29.420
always for open and honest conversation

182
00:12:29.420 –> 00:12:32.500
and approaching cancer, all types of cancer

183
00:12:32.500 –> 00:12:34.100
and discussion about it?

184
00:12:34.120 –> 00:12:37.420
Because some people are very afraid of talking about it.

185
00:12:37.980 –> 00:12:42.160
You even have people not wanting to say the word cancer.

186
00:12:42.160 –> 00:12:44.860
My father died of cancer.

187
00:12:45.600 –> 00:12:47.540
And my mother kept saying,

188
00:12:47.720 –> 00:12:49.480
don’t tell anybody, don’t tell anybody,

189
00:12:49.860 –> 00:12:52.020
as if it was something like the plague

190
00:12:52.020 –> 00:12:56.000
that was catching if you touch someone who had cancer.

191
00:12:56.880 –> 00:13:01.240
My beloved friend, who I was with for 31 years,

192
00:13:01.720 –> 00:13:04.020
he died of a blood cancer.

193
00:13:04.380 –> 00:13:07.140
And he didn’t want anyone to know

194
00:13:07.140 –> 00:13:10.380
because he felt embarrassed and a bit awkward.

195
00:13:10.380 –> 00:13:14.060
But that was 11 years ago that he died.

196
00:13:15.400 –> 00:13:18.560
But now there’s nothing wrong.

197
00:13:18.680 –> 00:13:20.540
No one is afraid anymore.

198
00:13:20.580 –> 00:13:22.580
You must not be afraid of the word.

199
00:13:22.820 –> 00:13:25.240
The word has such overtones,

200
00:13:25.720 –> 00:13:30.540
but we can take the fear away from the word by using it,

201
00:13:30.820 –> 00:13:33.420
by telling people, oh, yeah, I’ve got it.

202
00:13:33.540 –> 00:13:37.420
I’ve met so many prostate cancer brothers

203
00:13:37.420 –> 00:13:40.200
since I came out with it.

204
00:13:40.320 –> 00:13:42.380
And we greet each other in the street

205
00:13:42.380 –> 00:13:45.220
and we greet each other in social meetings.

206
00:13:45.760 –> 00:13:49.900
And it’s very supportive to know that you are not alone

207
00:13:49.900 –> 00:13:53.700
and people will now talk about it quite openly.

208
00:13:54.340 –> 00:13:56.500
And Emma’s my cancer sister.

209
00:13:56.960 –> 00:14:00.600
And there’s other people who we surround each other.

210
00:14:00.780 –> 00:14:04.580
We fall into each other’s arms whenever we meet

211
00:14:04.580 –> 00:14:06.100
because that’s how it is.

212
00:14:06.100 –> 00:14:11.060
I think we’ve mentioned before that cancer is the club

213
00:14:11.060 –> 00:14:12.840
that Noel wants to be a member of.

214
00:14:14.380 –> 00:14:17.360
Once you’re in it, you’re in it.

215
00:14:18.020 –> 00:14:21.440
That is a thing that we can all support each other.

216
00:14:21.900 –> 00:14:24.120
There is a lot of support out there.

217
00:14:24.400 –> 00:14:26.300
And that’s the whole point of this podcast,

218
00:14:26.520 –> 00:14:29.540
to give that support and other projects.

219
00:14:29.740 –> 00:14:33.160
The Cove, I can’t speak highly enough myself

220
00:14:33.160 –> 00:14:34.540
because of that support.

221
00:14:34.540 –> 00:14:37.860
My youth group, years and years ago,

222
00:14:38.320 –> 00:14:40.660
when the Cove was first being built,

223
00:14:41.020 –> 00:14:44.660
my youth group, which had about 30 children in it,

224
00:14:44.800 –> 00:14:46.480
came to me and said,

225
00:14:46.940 –> 00:14:50.850
my granny’s got cancer and my mummy’s got cancer.

226
00:14:51.360 –> 00:14:53.500
Can we do something for the Cove?

227
00:14:53.820 –> 00:14:57.400
So we raised thousands of pounds for the Cove

228
00:14:57.400 –> 00:14:58.760
as it was being built

229
00:14:58.760 –> 00:15:01.860
because people had real experiences

230
00:15:01.860 –> 00:15:04.960
and wanted to support this place.

231
00:15:05.400 –> 00:15:08.220
The children wanted to support their loved ones.

232
00:15:08.740 –> 00:15:11.220
The families wanted to support the children.

233
00:15:11.700 –> 00:15:14.080
And it was quite amazing how much money

234
00:15:14.080 –> 00:15:17.120
people were throwing at us for the Cove.

235
00:15:17.380 –> 00:15:19.640
And it’s just a lovely place to go in.

236
00:15:19.980 –> 00:15:23.060
If you’re feeling worried before you go into the sunrise

237
00:15:23.060 –> 00:15:24.920
or the mermaid or the headland

238
00:15:24.920 –> 00:15:26.040
or wherever you’ve got to go,

239
00:15:26.200 –> 00:15:27.720
go and sit in the Cove.

240
00:15:27.880 –> 00:15:29.420
And there’s people there to talk to

241
00:15:29.420 –> 00:15:30.660
and there’s things to read.

242
00:15:30.840 –> 00:15:32.420
Or you can just sit on your own.

243
00:15:32.740 –> 00:15:34.720
And when you come out after treatment,

244
00:15:34.760 –> 00:15:36.360
if you don’t want to go straight home

245
00:15:36.360 –> 00:15:40.460
because you’ve been surrounded by all these people

246
00:15:40.460 –> 00:15:43.660
and you may just want to sit and think and be quiet

247
00:15:43.660 –> 00:15:45.020
and go in the Cove.

248
00:15:45.240 –> 00:15:47.520
It’s an amazing, beautiful place

249
00:15:47.520 –> 00:15:49.240
right next to the sunrise.

250
00:15:50.520 –> 00:15:54.220
We’ve talked about being a man,

251
00:15:54.380 –> 00:15:56.640
having prostate cancer, your brothers.

252
00:15:56.640 –> 00:15:59.100
And now we’ve been talking about the Cove.

253
00:15:59.500 –> 00:16:02.480
One of the things I’ve found is that

254
00:16:02.480 –> 00:16:07.300
it is difficult to get men involved in support

255
00:16:07.300 –> 00:16:09.660
and getting them to take up the support

256
00:16:09.660 –> 00:16:10.920
opportunities available.

257
00:16:11.000 –> 00:16:13.420
There is now a group called Cancer,

258
00:16:14.380 –> 00:16:17.040
which I think is a great one,

259
00:16:17.100 –> 00:16:18.640
to get men involved.

260
00:16:18.960 –> 00:16:23.140
I know they started doing a hope course for men as well

261
00:16:23.140 –> 00:16:25.920
and a look-good, feel-better course for men.

262
00:16:26.380 –> 00:16:30.860
To get men more involved in taking on the support

263
00:16:30.860 –> 00:16:32.700
which is available to them.

264
00:16:33.180 –> 00:16:35.460
We all have different needs.

265
00:16:37.480 –> 00:16:41.320
My big problem with the treatment I’ve had,

266
00:16:41.380 –> 00:16:44.320
and I don’t know if there’s a support group for it,

267
00:16:44.480 –> 00:16:47.540
but I think anyone who’s on hormone tablets

268
00:16:47.540 –> 00:16:51.280
would experience impotence.

269
00:16:51.280 –> 00:16:55.540
Now, when I’ve said to the people who phone me up

270
00:16:55.540 –> 00:16:58.440
to see how I am from the Sunrise Centre

271
00:16:58.440 –> 00:17:00.700
or from the research project,

272
00:17:00.960 –> 00:17:03.580
we talk about this, this impotence,

273
00:17:04.119 –> 00:17:05.700
and they say to me,

274
00:17:05.700 –> 00:17:08.020
well, there is help available.

275
00:17:10.060 –> 00:17:14.060
You could have this device or this contraption

276
00:17:14.060 –> 00:17:16.260
or you could take these pills.

277
00:17:16.599 –> 00:17:20.880
I don’t feel inclined to accept that sort of support

278
00:17:20.880 –> 00:17:26.000
because when my beloved friend died,

279
00:17:26.599 –> 00:17:28.800
just about two weeks before he died,

280
00:17:29.100 –> 00:17:33.220
we discussed whether I would ever meet someone else.

281
00:17:33.480 –> 00:17:37.220
And I said, no, there’ll never be anyone else.

282
00:17:37.380 –> 00:17:39.460
And he said, I think there will be.

283
00:17:39.520 –> 00:17:42.880
There’ll be George upstairs within a month of my death.

284
00:17:44.240 –> 00:17:48.040
There won’t be, but now I know there can’t be.

285
00:17:48.040 –> 00:17:50.260
I can no longer have

286
00:17:50.260 –> 00:17:53.240
a full relationship with another man.

287
00:17:53.560 –> 00:17:55.520
And although I might wish to,

288
00:17:55.920 –> 00:17:57.800
that is now impossible.

289
00:17:58.320 –> 00:18:01.720
I don’t want to, but now I know I can’t.

290
00:18:01.720 –> 00:18:04.700
And I find that the worst thing of all.

291
00:18:05.020 –> 00:18:07.020
I mean, there are other side effects from hormone.

292
00:18:07.260 –> 00:18:10.380
I cry most of the time when I’m driving along.

293
00:18:10.860 –> 00:18:12.540
My emotions are heightened,

294
00:18:12.820 –> 00:18:15.600
and I’m reliving all sorts of things

295
00:18:15.600 –> 00:18:17.920
that I thought I’d forgotten about.

296
00:18:18.060 –> 00:18:21.920
But the impotence is the biggest problem.

297
00:18:22.020 –> 00:18:23.920
I want to come in here, Father Peter,

298
00:18:24.100 –> 00:18:26.400
because through all my treatment

299
00:18:26.400 –> 00:18:28.660
for non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma,

300
00:18:28.860 –> 00:18:30.720
which is a blood cancer.

301
00:18:30.800 –> 00:18:32.140
That’s what Freddie had, my friend.

302
00:18:32.220 –> 00:18:36.780
Yeah, so I’ve had two relapses,

303
00:18:37.120 –> 00:18:40.380
four types of treatment over four years.

304
00:18:40.680 –> 00:18:43.600
And all that treatment has basically

305
00:18:44.320 –> 00:18:46.100
completely killed my libido.

306
00:18:46.800 –> 00:18:47.740
I don’t have…

307
00:18:47.740 –> 00:18:49.420
Oh, I’ve still got the libido.

308
00:18:49.520 –> 00:18:51.740
I just can’t do anything about it.

309
00:18:51.820 –> 00:18:53.560
Well, I haven’t got anything.

310
00:18:56.020 –> 00:18:58.940
So I completely, you know,

311
00:18:59.080 –> 00:19:00.820
I’m in that club with you there.

312
00:19:01.240 –> 00:19:03.060
That’s not a good club to be in.

313
00:19:03.700 –> 00:19:06.260
None of these clubs are brilliant clubs to be in,

314
00:19:06.260 –> 00:19:06.640
are they?

315
00:19:06.920 –> 00:19:09.760
No, we’ve talked about this, haven’t we?

316
00:19:10.200 –> 00:19:11.940
Off camera, if you know what I mean.

317
00:19:11.940 –> 00:19:17.560
But I think having the diagnosis in the first place

318
00:19:17.560 –> 00:19:19.320
absolutely wallops you sideways,

319
00:19:19.860 –> 00:19:20.840
to begin with anyway,

320
00:19:21.280 –> 00:19:25.080
and getting used to using the C word, cancer,

321
00:19:25.920 –> 00:19:28.140
understanding what your treatment’s going to be,

322
00:19:28.200 –> 00:19:29.420
going through the treatments.

323
00:19:30.380 –> 00:19:33.290
For me, as well as I’m sure other people,

324
00:19:34.200 –> 00:19:35.220
you sort of…

325
00:19:35.220 –> 00:19:37.280
Other things like libido and stuff

326
00:19:37.280 –> 00:19:38.900
just takes a sideways seat.

327
00:19:38.900 –> 00:19:42.320
But also talking to other friends out there,

328
00:19:42.880 –> 00:19:44.020
it’s not unusual.

329
00:19:44.640 –> 00:19:46.260
No, and the other,

330
00:19:46.360 –> 00:19:48.620
I mean, some of the other men I’ve talked to,

331
00:19:48.740 –> 00:19:51.500
we just say we are no longer a man

332
00:19:51.500 –> 00:19:55.140
and everybody knows what we’re talking about.

333
00:19:55.480 –> 00:19:58.180
I mean, there are other side effects from hormone therapy

334
00:19:58.180 –> 00:20:00.400
like you put weight on

335
00:20:00.400 –> 00:20:03.000
or the hair on my legs has gone.

336
00:20:03.560 –> 00:20:04.800
Man boobs, man boobs.

337
00:20:05.000 –> 00:20:06.380
No, I haven’t got them yet.

338
00:20:07.060 –> 00:20:07.700
Really?

339
00:20:09.520 –> 00:20:11.980
No, I haven’t got them yet, but maybe I will.

340
00:20:12.320 –> 00:20:15.180
But in the end, I’m alive.

341
00:20:15.520 –> 00:20:15.980
Yes.

342
00:20:16.120 –> 00:20:19.020
In the end, I’m still doing my work.

343
00:20:19.200 –> 00:20:22.060
In the end, I might have to go to the loo

344
00:20:22.060 –> 00:20:23.820
more often than usual.

345
00:20:23.900 –> 00:20:24.720
With Clarence?

346
00:20:25.140 –> 00:20:27.460
No, Clarence Clearwater is out.

347
00:20:29.760 –> 00:20:32.000
Clarence Clearwater was the catheter.

348
00:20:32.780 –> 00:20:33.480
Oh, OK.

349
00:20:34.300 –> 00:20:37.920
So all those are a small price to pay

350
00:20:37.920 –> 00:20:41.780
for the fact that I’m still where I want to be,

351
00:20:42.140 –> 00:20:44.700
still with the people who are precious to me,

352
00:20:45.100 –> 00:20:49.600
who have trusted me with all sorts of things in their lives.

353
00:20:49.760 –> 00:20:52.500
And it’s all a small price to pay.

354
00:20:52.760 –> 00:20:55.610
How does what you’ve been through

355
00:20:56.000 –> 00:21:00.140
change your perspective and priorities in life?

356
00:21:00.300 –> 00:21:02.300
I don’t know that it has.

357
00:21:02.300 –> 00:21:07.040
It’s made me appreciate kindness

358
00:21:07.040 –> 00:21:11.580
and understanding more, perhaps,

359
00:21:11.920 –> 00:21:14.680
from people who don’t know me from a hole in the ground.

360
00:21:14.900 –> 00:21:18.260
It’s made me more trusting, perhaps,

361
00:21:18.620 –> 00:21:20.800
that people won’t gossip about,

362
00:21:21.280 –> 00:21:22.560
oh, he’s got it.

363
00:21:22.760 –> 00:21:25.380
I suppose it’s made me more committed

364
00:21:25.380 –> 00:21:27.760
to the work I do as a priest

365
00:21:27.760 –> 00:21:31.800
because I think I can feel more deeply

366
00:21:31.800 –> 00:21:35.640
the traumas that other people might be going through,

367
00:21:36.160 –> 00:21:39.760
like I’m visiting someone at the moment in Trilisk

368
00:21:40.440 –> 00:21:44.120
who’s been diagnosed with two types of cancer.

369
00:21:44.360 –> 00:21:47.600
And we just sit and hold hands for a long time,

370
00:21:47.760 –> 00:21:52.620
and I bless her and ask God’s healing arms to surround her.

371
00:21:52.800 –> 00:21:56.780
And she knows about my friend who died,

372
00:21:56.780 –> 00:21:59.900
and I know about relatives she’s lost.

373
00:22:00.220 –> 00:22:03.440
And we’re just together, and that’s what has to happen.

374
00:22:03.700 –> 00:22:07.600
You just have to be together with people who are struggling

375
00:22:07.600 –> 00:22:11.700
and not maybe think too much of yourself

376
00:22:11.700 –> 00:22:14.560
or what other things you could be doing.

377
00:22:14.900 –> 00:22:17.960
The moment, the time you share with other people

378
00:22:17.960 –> 00:22:20.740
is now, perhaps, more precious.

379
00:22:21.340 –> 00:22:25.760
That is actually a really important tip to people

380
00:22:25.760 –> 00:22:29.800
for supporting someone else through cancer

381
00:22:29.800 –> 00:22:32.720
or any other critical illness.

382
00:22:33.960 –> 00:22:36.120
So let’s look at that as one tip.

383
00:22:36.160 –> 00:22:38.060
Have you got any other tips to people

384
00:22:38.060 –> 00:22:42.320
to approach people who might be going through it?

385
00:22:42.580 –> 00:22:44.820
I think you have to be very honest

386
00:22:44.820 –> 00:22:49.020
about how you’re feeling and help them to be…

387
00:22:49.020 –> 00:22:51.200
I mean, if somebody comes up to me and says,

388
00:22:51.200 –> 00:22:55.520
I’ve just been diagnosed with whatever cancer,

389
00:22:55.920 –> 00:22:57.480
then it’s no good saying,

390
00:22:57.740 –> 00:23:00.640
I know just how you feel because you don’t.

391
00:23:00.760 –> 00:23:04.160
You’ve got to enable them to talk.

392
00:23:04.440 –> 00:23:07.340
And they might talk all the way around the subject

393
00:23:07.340 –> 00:23:11.800
until they can actually express what they’ve got

394
00:23:11.800 –> 00:23:12.960
and how they feel.

395
00:23:13.220 –> 00:23:18.980
And then if they ask you what it’s like at the Sunrise Centre

396
00:23:18.980 –> 00:23:23.360
or what it’s like to have surgery for a particular cancer,

397
00:23:23.740 –> 00:23:26.720
then you are able to use your own experience

398
00:23:26.720 –> 00:23:29.320
to explain what happened to you.

399
00:23:29.780 –> 00:23:33.800
And maybe in explaining, you take away their fear

400
00:23:33.800 –> 00:23:36.300
because they know you’ve been through it.

401
00:23:36.580 –> 00:23:40.560
And give them time to get used to the idea

402
00:23:40.560 –> 00:23:42.840
and help them just to understand

403
00:23:42.840 –> 00:23:46.280
it is not a death sentence anymore

404
00:23:46.280 –> 00:23:48.960
like it was years and years ago.

405
00:23:49.200 –> 00:23:52.540
It’s now a thing to be either lived with

406
00:23:52.540 –> 00:23:54.220
or cured completely,

407
00:23:54.220 –> 00:23:57.160
but it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the line.

408
00:23:57.280 –> 00:24:00.280
And you have to take that fear away from people

409
00:24:00.280 –> 00:24:02.740
because the treatments now are so wonderful

410
00:24:02.740 –> 00:24:04.320
that there’s hope.

411
00:24:04.500 –> 00:24:06.440
All the time there is hope.

412
00:24:06.780 –> 00:24:09.080
And people don’t give up on you

413
00:24:09.080 –> 00:24:11.540
in the clinical situations.

414
00:24:11.980 –> 00:24:15.020
They’re always trying to find the next step

415
00:24:15.020 –> 00:24:16.100
to make you better,

416
00:24:16.600 –> 00:24:19.700
or to make you live with it more completely.

417
00:24:20.120 –> 00:24:21.880
Thank you very much, Father Peter.

418
00:24:22.780 –> 00:24:25.920
So, Emma, we’re coming to the end of this week’s podcast,

419
00:24:25.940 –> 00:24:27.440
listening to Father Peter.

420
00:24:27.600 –> 00:24:30.720
They’re giving some really great words of hope there

421
00:24:30.720 –> 00:24:33.100
for anyone experiencing this.

422
00:24:33.420 –> 00:24:34.700
What is your takeaway?

423
00:24:35.960 –> 00:24:40.400
I knew that Father Peter would be very good with words,

424
00:24:40.400 –> 00:24:45.500
but also would be able to offer so much of himself.

425
00:24:46.480 –> 00:24:47.600
Hope, the word hope.

426
00:24:47.700 –> 00:24:48.920
You keep using the word hope.

427
00:24:49.260 –> 00:24:51.940
I think that’s what this podcast needs to be called, Hope.

428
00:24:52.540 –> 00:24:54.540
This is maybe not relevant to cancer,

429
00:24:54.540 –> 00:24:56.220
but it is relevant to hope.

430
00:24:56.980 –> 00:24:59.740
In Auschwitz, a young woman,

431
00:24:59.860 –> 00:25:01.720
before she died,

432
00:25:02.400 –> 00:25:06.620
wrote on the walls of the cell that she was in,

433
00:25:06.620 –> 00:25:10.620
You may not be able to see God, but he’s there.

434
00:25:11.020 –> 00:25:15.640
You may not be able to hear God, but he hears you.

435
00:25:16.020 –> 00:25:20.180
You may not be able to see the sun, but the sun is there.

436
00:25:20.420 –> 00:25:22.700
So never lose hope,

437
00:25:23.600 –> 00:25:26.740
because hope will bring you life forever.

438
00:25:27.180 –> 00:25:28.960
Thank you very much, Father Peter.

439
00:25:29.740 –> 00:25:33.700
So that’s this week’s program done.

440
00:25:33.700 –> 00:25:35.740
We’ll be back next week.

441
00:25:35.740 –> 00:25:37.260
Emma and myself.

442
00:25:38.160 –> 00:25:40.800
So just make sure you go to the website,

443
00:25:41.180 –> 00:25:46.480
www.cancercafepodcast.org.

444
00:25:47.240 –> 00:25:49.520
You can find us on social media as well,

445
00:25:49.520 –> 00:25:51.280
on Facebook and on TikTok.

446
00:25:51.760 –> 00:25:56.660
And you can also find the podcast on Spotify

447
00:25:56.660 –> 00:25:58.540
and Apple Podcasts.

448
00:25:58.920 –> 00:26:01.700
So why not share it with someone else

449
00:26:01.700 –> 00:26:05.400
who might find this useful to listen to.

450
00:26:05.860 –> 00:26:07.680
So thank you very much, Father Peter.

451
00:26:07.840 –> 00:26:11.300
And thank you for even doing this podcast.

452
00:26:11.500 –> 00:26:13.440
I didn’t know what a podcast was.

453
00:26:13.880 –> 00:26:14.740
And thank you, Emma.

454
00:26:16.940 –> 00:26:18.240
See you all next week.

455
00:26:25.500 –> 00:26:27.820
Thanks to the National Lottery Community Fund

456
00:26:27.820 –> 00:26:29.760
for supporting this podcast.