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The Cornwall Cancer Cafe podcast with Matthew Clarke.
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So here we are again, and we have plenty of great podcasts coming up over the coming
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months.
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Thanks to the National Lottery Community Fund for supporting this podcast.
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I am now going to be introducing you to one of our presenting crew.
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It’s Emma Coombe.
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And you’ll also realize when you hear her voice, her voice is the one which
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introduces the podcast as well.
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Emma, Emma Coombe, welcome to the Cornwall Cancer Cafe podcast.
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Thank you very much.
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Do you want to say it again?
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You said it so well on the Idents.
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The Cornwall Cancer Cafe podcast.
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Now, first of all, I want to just get to know you a little for the podcast.
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And so everyone listening can also understand where you come from in being
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involved in this.
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So tell me, first of all, your background so we know.
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My background.
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Yes.
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I don’t mean the wallpaper behind you.
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Well, there is no wallpaper behind me.
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So, you know, are you, have you got a family, have you got support at home?
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Are you still working?
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I’m not working, no.
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I chose to do one battle at a time.
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And as we all know, cancer is a battle that you need a lot of resources for.
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So this is the battle that I chose.
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So I chose to give up work.
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I live at home on my own, but I do have family around me.
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I’ve got my parents live nearby and my sons nearby and my partner is nearby.
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So in some, oh, and I’ve got a cat, the cat.
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Oh, you’ve got, can’t forget the cat.
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What’s the cat called?
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The cat’s called Spooky and he’s a black cat and he’s a lovely little chap.
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Okay.
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And is Spooky good at giving you support?
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Yes, he is actually.
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He comes and curls up and yeah, gets in the way like most cats do.
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But yeah, very supportive cat.
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Brilliant.
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Okay.
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Very important.
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I don’t have any animals at home.
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I’ve got plants.
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They’re not quite the same.
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They don’t cuddle up in the same way.
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No, but plants can be supportive, can’t they?
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You can have a one way conversation with a plant.
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Okay, so let’s find out about the cancer that you have been going through.
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Just tell me how that started.
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So in summary, my cancer is melanoma, which everybody will know is skin cancer.
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Now, my skin cancer appeared on my head underneath my hair.
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So I would say to everybody out there, don’t just look at your skin that you can see.
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Look at the bits of skin that you can’t see because mine was in my hair.
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And when I found it, I spoke to my doctor and I was very quickly moved along the route of
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getting it diagnosed and had it removed.
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And then shortly after, I had another lump appear in my neck, which meant that it had moved.
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So it had become stage three metastatic melanoma.
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So in summary, that’s what happened.
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I’ve had a couple of operations.
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It’s all gone, hopefully at the moment.
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I’m on immunotherapy, which is a 12 month treatment.
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So I have a treatment every six weeks and the team have been absolutely fantastic.
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So I’m almost at the end of my treatment.
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But yeah, not quite there yet.
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But everything, fingers crossed, touch wood is good at the moment.
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And what have you learnt particularly about yourself, about people going through cancer,
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which surprised you?
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I think a lot of the time we repress what we want to say.
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And I think when you have cancer, you get to the point where you think,
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actually, I need to say this out loud.
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So I think being able to express myself, I’ve improved how I do that.
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It’s really uplifting listening to other people and their experiences.
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And I can also see connections with people.
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So Matthew, I met you and we’ve met other people within the groups that we’ve also been
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involved with at the Cove.
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Have to talk about the Cove at the Macmillan Centre at Trilisk.
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What an amazing place this is.
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They offer so much support.
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And just coming here and meeting other people, hearing their stories,
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I found that I can help people as well, because I’m happy to talk about my cancer
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and other people struggle to talk about theirs.
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And I think when I start talking about mine, it helps them express how they’re
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feeling as well.
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Because we met in music therapy, didn’t we?
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Just talk about the music therapy and how you find that.
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Yeah, so I’m a musician.
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So when I saw music therapy, I thought, oh, this is going to be right up my street.
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OK, what musical instruments first?
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OK, so I play the saxophone.
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I started playing when I was at secondary school.
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I’ve been in big bands.
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I’m in a quartet, and I’m in a big band at the moment.
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I play with a couple of other bands occasionally.
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So I came along to music therapy thinking, oh, I could come along
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and play my saxophone.
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But it is absolutely not about that at all.
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It’s about losing yourself in music and allowing your emotions to come
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through.
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So we started this music therapy group.
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And it’s a closed group.
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Anything that we say in this group stays in the group.
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It’s all very confidential.
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We all care about each other.
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And it was a lovely, lovely experience.
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I gained a lot of confidence through doing it.
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And I felt more confident about expressing myself
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in front of other people, but knowing that it was in a safe space.
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And I think one of the key things is about expressing yourself in music
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without having to find the words to express yourself.
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Very much so, yes, because you don’t have to play a musical instrument.
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There’s plenty of instruments around.
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There’s a lot of percussion instruments.
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So you can pick up something that’s going to be loud
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or something that’s going to be quiet.
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So if you’re an introverted person,
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you might want to pick up something that just jingles a little bit.
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Or I’m a bit more extroverted.
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So I wanted something that could possibly be loud.
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But then I was thinking about the rest of the people in the room
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and I didn’t want to frighten anybody.
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So it took me a few weeks to get louder and louder and louder.
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And then one week I really went for it.
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And I know I was bashing away on this drum
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and and other people were joining in, smashing cymbals.
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And there was a lot of noise the one week, wasn’t there?
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I think you discover emotions
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that have gone through you with cancer that you weren’t aware of
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during the music therapy that suddenly emerge.
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Yeah, definitely.
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I mean, anger is there.
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Definitely anger is is sitting there because we’re we all
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I think we all feel anger that why is this happening to us?
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It’s not fair.
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It’s not fair that this happens.
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But we’re very lucky that we’ve got support around us
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that we can access that helps us to come to terms with it,
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deal with it, move forward with it, maybe not even move forward with it,
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just deal with it in in that day, one day at a time.
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I find one or two other key emotions
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which I experience in the music therapy and outside the music therapy.
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One is frustration at my life being put on hold in many ways
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and also grief for the person who I used to be.
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And I’m not anymore.
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Yeah, 100 percent.
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The grief thing is something that I don’t think I’ve got there yet.
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I’m very aware that I’m not the person that I was before,
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but I don’t think I’ve learned who I am yet.
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Oh, totally. I’m there with you.
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Yeah. So that’s probably there’s going to be a lot of us that feel like that.
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Frustration. Yeah, frustration.
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Why is this happening?
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Why isn’t whatever’s supposed to be happening next happening quickly enough?
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It can be frustrating.
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And music therapy is so good at letting frustration out.
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But you have to feel confident enough to be loud.
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And I know in the music sessions, I hope you don’t mind saying,
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Matthew, you’ve been vocal and you’ve you’ve brought instruments in
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that I actually borrowed one of them the one time.
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So that was good fun.
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So I think you’ve helped me to become more expressive
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because I saw you doing it and I thought, yes, I can do that as well.
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Yes. You don’t really need permission, do you?
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No, you don’t.
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But when you’re new to doing this sort of thing
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and you’re in a group with people that you don’t know yet,
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it takes a few weeks to find that confidence to to let it all out.
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OK, so we will obviously talk about music again through the podcast series.
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And so we you mentioned the Cove.
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We’re sitting in the Cove recording at the moment,
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the Cove at the Royal Cornwall Hospital.
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It’s the Macmillan Centre and there’s a cafe here
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and there’s rooms which give treatments as well.
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There’s all sorts of things going on here
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and it’s a very supportive atmosphere,
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particularly when you have just been in treatments
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and you need to chill out.
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The colour scheme is very different from the rest of the hospital,
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which is really soothing.
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And just tell me your thoughts about the Cove
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and what the Cove has done for you in the support.
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Yeah, we were talking earlier before doing this recording about the Cove.
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So when I was first diagnosed with my cancer,
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I was trying to deal with it on my own.
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So for many, many weeks I didn’t come anywhere near the Cove.
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And then I got to the point that I thought
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I need to find out a little bit more about my cancer
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and just cancer in general.
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Came over to the Cove and what a welcome.
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I had an incredible welcome.
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The staff that are on the desk as you walk in,
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the team there are incredible.
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They learn who you are very quickly.
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And now I walk through the door and they greet me,
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hello Emma, are you here for a treatment
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or are you here for a coffee or just a hello.
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They’re so, so friendly.
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There’s an awful lot of literature here.
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There’s a lot of books and a lot of leaflets and things.
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And if you come into the ladies,
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because I was feeling overwhelmed with everything.
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So I came in and said, oh, I’ve got melanoma.
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I don’t know what to do.
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They basically said, come with us
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and this leaflet might help you
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and this booklet might help you.
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They didn’t overload me with everything.
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They just got it right.
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The leaflets and the support that they provided me
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encouraged me to come back again and again.
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And then I discovered that there was all sorts
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of different groups you can go to.
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You can go gardening, you can have Reiki,
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you can have a massage, you can,
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there’s psychology going on here.
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There are walking groups.
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There’s wild swimming groups.
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There is so much going on that centers around the cove
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and just the opportunity to go and do things
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with other cancer sufferers
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and having that opportunity
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to have those quiet conversations with people.
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I think it’s important to also say
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that if you can’t get to the cove itself,
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the cove also runs outreach in many parts of West Cornwall
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and it has connections with the outreach
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in East Cornwall as well,
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which we will be covering in the podcasts to come.
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What other types of therapy have you been involved with?
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At the cove?
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Well, not necessarily at the cove,
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but that you’ve found useful.
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I think for myself, as we mentioned earlier,
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I’m a musician, so playing music is my therapy.
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So the groups that I play with, they may not like it,
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but I really enjoy playing
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and I lose myself in the music when I’m playing.
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So that’s it for me.
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Have you done Reiki?
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I’ve done Reiki here.
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I was very lucky to get onto a Reiki course to receive it
242
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and I’m now on a course
243
00:12:26.900 –> 00:12:29.520
where I’m learning to deliver Reiki myself.
244
00:12:29.640 –> 00:12:30.300
Oh, wow.
245
00:12:30.560 –> 00:12:30.960
Yeah.
246
00:12:31.220 –> 00:12:33.700
So I’ve done the first of three courses
247
00:12:33.880 –> 00:12:36.640
and I was very, very surprised.
248
00:12:37.100 –> 00:12:39.040
I’m not going to say anything more about that yet
249
00:12:39.040 –> 00:12:40.640
because there’s two more weeks to go.
250
00:12:40.640 –> 00:12:41.960
Let’s see how it goes.
251
00:12:42.240 –> 00:12:44.780
Okay, we’ll talk about that as well later on.
252
00:12:45.040 –> 00:12:49.480
I’ve been involved with lots of gardening therapy.
253
00:12:49.620 –> 00:12:52.080
So I’ve been to the Eden Project
254
00:12:52.080 –> 00:12:54.120
where they’ve got the Wounder Therapy Garden
255
00:12:54.120 –> 00:12:57.940
and the Potterser at Constantine in West Cornwall,
256
00:12:58.100 –> 00:12:59.840
which has been running some sessions.
257
00:13:00.540 –> 00:13:02.960
And being out in there with plants
258
00:13:02.960 –> 00:13:05.960
and it’s been wonderful.
259
00:13:06.020 –> 00:13:08.080
There’s all sorts of therapies around
260
00:13:08.080 –> 00:13:10.000
and we’ll be talking to people
261
00:13:10.000 –> 00:13:12.340
from the Potterser probably or Eden,
262
00:13:12.580 –> 00:13:13.860
that sort of therapy.
263
00:13:14.180 –> 00:13:19.060
We might even talk to a Reiki expert
264
00:13:19.060 –> 00:13:24.580
and we will also talk to some psychologists as well
265
00:13:24.580 –> 00:13:25.520
from the Cove
266
00:13:25.520 –> 00:13:30.140
and we will be talking to one of the managers at the Cove
267
00:13:30.140 –> 00:13:34.060
who I’ve just seen outside going past the door here.
268
00:13:34.100 –> 00:13:36.920
So we’ll be speaking to her in the series.
269
00:13:36.940 –> 00:13:39.000
Now, you’ve talked about you being a musician.
270
00:13:39.420 –> 00:13:40.900
I seem to remember you once saying
271
00:13:40.900 –> 00:13:42.720
you played flute as well.
272
00:13:43.540 –> 00:13:44.400
I have.
273
00:13:44.940 –> 00:13:45.620
Yes, I can.
274
00:13:45.780 –> 00:13:46.960
Well, I did be able to.
275
00:13:48.320 –> 00:13:50.140
Karma, where’s your English gone?
276
00:13:50.340 –> 00:13:52.040
My English gone out of the window.
277
00:13:53.000 –> 00:13:54.540
I used to play the flute.
278
00:13:55.080 –> 00:13:56.800
I’ve had an operation on my neck
279
00:13:56.800 –> 00:13:59.820
so I don’t know if I can lift my arm up high enough anymore.
280
00:14:00.340 –> 00:14:02.660
That’s one of the things that if I can’t do that,
281
00:14:02.660 –> 00:14:05.260
again, that’s another thing I’ve lost.
282
00:14:05.760 –> 00:14:07.300
Well, if you play it’s left-handed.
283
00:14:07.640 –> 00:14:08.840
No, no, you can’t.
284
00:14:08.880 –> 00:14:09.500
Oh, okay.
285
00:14:11.360 –> 00:14:12.580
I understand that.
286
00:14:13.760 –> 00:14:16.680
I’m left-handed for writing
287
00:14:16.680 –> 00:14:19.260
and playing the Irish drum, Baoran,
288
00:14:19.360 –> 00:14:22.520
but I’m right-handed for nearly everything else.
289
00:14:23.340 –> 00:14:24.880
But I am slightly ambidextrous.
290
00:14:24.920 –> 00:14:27.660
I used to be able to play tennis ambidextrously
291
00:14:28.200 –> 00:14:33.900
but I have tried playing guitar left-handed and I can’t do it.
292
00:14:33.920 –> 00:14:36.480
Is that because you learned to play guitar right-handed?
293
00:14:37.080 –> 00:14:39.320
Yes, and the fact that I didn’t change the strings
294
00:14:39.320 –> 00:14:40.600
around the other way when I tried.
295
00:14:40.880 –> 00:14:43.240
That sounds like pure laziness,
296
00:14:43.480 –> 00:14:45.280
but it does mean you can share your guitar
297
00:14:45.280 –> 00:14:46.640
with somebody else, doesn’t it?
298
00:14:46.900 –> 00:14:47.600
It does.
299
00:14:47.860 –> 00:14:51.140
I was always very intrigued by how Paul McCartney
300
00:14:51.780 –> 00:14:53.920
turned the strings all the way up the other way
301
00:14:53.920 –> 00:14:55.340
and the guitars up the other way,
302
00:14:56.000 –> 00:14:58.920
but no, I never got on with that side.
303
00:15:00.180 –> 00:15:02.460
Have you been inspired to learn other instruments?
304
00:15:03.620 –> 00:15:04.520
Not really.
305
00:15:04.820 –> 00:15:06.380
It’s a bit lazy of me, isn’t it?
306
00:15:06.460 –> 00:15:09.080
But if you can’t really play the flute,
307
00:15:09.120 –> 00:15:10.980
you might think about something else
308
00:15:10.980 –> 00:15:13.800
which doesn’t worry about if you can’t lift your arm up.
309
00:15:13.840 –> 00:15:15.480
I know exactly what you’re talking about
310
00:15:15.480 –> 00:15:17.180
because you suggested to me
311
00:15:17.180 –> 00:15:18.820
about playing a penny whistle, didn’t you?
312
00:15:19.160 –> 00:15:20.700
That’s where you’re going with this, isn’t it?
313
00:15:20.700 –> 00:15:22.240
Something like that, a recorder.
314
00:15:22.440 –> 00:15:22.760
Really?
315
00:15:23.220 –> 00:15:26.120
Okay, so I played a recorder when I was at primary school
316
00:15:26.120 –> 00:15:27.660
and that’s where it all started for me.
317
00:15:27.660 –> 00:15:29.140
That’s how I learned to play
318
00:15:29.140 –> 00:15:30.960
and that’s how I learned to make music.
319
00:15:31.220 –> 00:15:33.560
And then in secondary school, I picked up a saxophone
320
00:15:33.560 –> 00:15:35.700
which then quite easily led to a clarinet.
321
00:15:35.740 –> 00:15:37.640
So I played clarinet, not very good.
322
00:15:37.960 –> 00:15:39.980
And then the flute, again,
323
00:15:39.980 –> 00:15:41.240
I’m not very good on that either,
324
00:15:41.240 –> 00:15:43.480
but yeah, the surgery is,
325
00:15:43.920 –> 00:15:47.080
I think the surgery may have put pay to the flute playing.
326
00:15:47.540 –> 00:15:50.160
So some people’s ears will benefit from that.
327
00:15:51.280 –> 00:15:56.760
No, my mother is a big fan of a famous saxophonist.
328
00:15:56.880 –> 00:15:57.500
Really?
329
00:15:58.120 –> 00:15:58.680
Jess Gillum.
330
00:15:59.840 –> 00:16:02.300
Jess Gillum, she’s a saxophonist
331
00:16:02.300 –> 00:16:04.520
who plays classical and jazz.
332
00:16:05.260 –> 00:16:08.640
She does a programme on Radio 3 as well
333
00:16:08.640 –> 00:16:13.520
and she comes from Ulverston up in Cumbria
334
00:16:13.520 –> 00:16:15.800
at the same village as my sister,
335
00:16:16.020 –> 00:16:18.780
brother-in-law, niece and nephew come from.
336
00:16:18.780 –> 00:16:24.680
And my niece beat her in a music competition
337
00:16:24.680 –> 00:16:25.680
when she was younger.
338
00:16:26.680 –> 00:16:30.220
And Jess Gillum, I think she was quite high up
339
00:16:30.220 –> 00:16:32.220
in Young Musician of the Year.
340
00:16:32.300 –> 00:16:35.400
So that’s my niece’s claim to fame musically.
341
00:16:35.620 –> 00:16:37.870
Well, maybe that’s what inspired Jess Gillum to…
342
00:16:38.740 –> 00:16:39.460
Yeah, my niece.
343
00:16:39.520 –> 00:16:40.220
Yeah, your niece.
344
00:16:40.380 –> 00:16:40.940
Yeah, she thought,
345
00:16:41.060 –> 00:16:43.720
I can’t have this girl here
346
00:16:43.720 –> 00:16:45.760
beating me in a music competition.
347
00:16:45.800 –> 00:16:47.560
I’m going to really strive for it.
348
00:16:47.560 –> 00:16:49.300
Yeah, so thank goodness for your niece.
349
00:16:50.280 –> 00:16:52.900
And actually, that’s a good point
350
00:16:52.900 –> 00:16:56.140
because sometimes we’re driven by other people
351
00:16:56.140 –> 00:16:58.140
to move forward in life,
352
00:16:58.960 –> 00:17:00.400
just as you’ve been saying here.
353
00:17:01.540 –> 00:17:04.180
And having conversations with other people
354
00:17:04.180 –> 00:17:07.079
who are experiencing cancer,
355
00:17:07.400 –> 00:17:09.640
how does that inspire you?
356
00:17:10.400 –> 00:17:13.220
I think it makes it a little bit more real
357
00:17:13.800 –> 00:17:16.940
because you can be sat next to somebody
358
00:17:17.579 –> 00:17:18.560
usually in the cove
359
00:17:19.359 –> 00:17:22.380
or at one of the outreach meetings.
360
00:17:22.819 –> 00:17:24.960
So for example, I’ve been to a meeting in Falmouth.
361
00:17:24.980 –> 00:17:27.560
I know there’s meetings in Penzance and other places.
362
00:17:28.680 –> 00:17:30.840
But just sitting, talking to somebody else
363
00:17:30.840 –> 00:17:35.340
who’s got cancer or who has suffered with cancer,
364
00:17:36.080 –> 00:17:37.060
hearing their story,
365
00:17:37.300 –> 00:17:39.300
hearing how they’ve dealt with it,
366
00:17:39.700 –> 00:17:41.400
that can also help you
367
00:17:41.400 –> 00:17:43.580
because it gives you ideas about,
368
00:17:43.780 –> 00:17:45.240
oh, maybe I can try that.
369
00:17:45.240 –> 00:17:47.460
Or they might say something and you think,
370
00:17:47.700 –> 00:17:49.340
I’m definitely not going to do that
371
00:17:49.340 –> 00:17:51.900
because I know that that would upset me.
372
00:17:53.400 –> 00:17:56.580
Or yeah, just hearing some good news stories
373
00:17:56.580 –> 00:17:59.400
as well from people, some uplifting stories.
374
00:18:00.040 –> 00:18:02.200
It’s important actually at this point,
375
00:18:02.220 –> 00:18:04.800
and I will continually say this
376
00:18:04.800 –> 00:18:07.440
through all the podcast series
377
00:18:07.960 –> 00:18:10.400
that every cancer is different.
378
00:18:11.000 –> 00:18:12.520
Every person is different.
379
00:18:12.980 –> 00:18:14.880
Every experience is different.
380
00:18:15.820 –> 00:18:18.520
When you are listening to anything I say
381
00:18:18.520 –> 00:18:21.560
or anything anyone else says on this podcast,
382
00:18:22.060 –> 00:18:24.140
not to say, oh, that’s not me.
383
00:18:24.420 –> 00:18:25.860
Why aren’t I like that?
384
00:18:26.360 –> 00:18:28.680
Why isn’t that what I’m experiencing?
385
00:18:29.220 –> 00:18:31.200
This is not the point of it.
386
00:18:31.380 –> 00:18:33.620
Hopefully you can just pick some things
387
00:18:33.620 –> 00:18:35.720
from what we’re talking about
388
00:18:35.720 –> 00:18:37.840
because it’s so difficult.
389
00:18:38.340 –> 00:18:42.080
I know from people who’ve been
390
00:18:42.080 –> 00:18:45.100
going through non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma
391
00:18:45.100 –> 00:18:47.460
that non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma
392
00:18:47.460 –> 00:18:49.560
covers so many different varieties.
393
00:18:50.280 –> 00:18:52.200
No two experiences are the same.
394
00:18:52.760 –> 00:18:56.420
And then everyone has different reactions
395
00:18:56.420 –> 00:18:58.820
to chemotherapy or immunotherapy.
396
00:18:59.960 –> 00:19:03.520
You can’t just put everyone in one box
397
00:19:03.520 –> 00:19:05.200
and say that’s what it is, can you?
398
00:19:05.440 –> 00:19:06.200
No, you can’t.
399
00:19:06.720 –> 00:19:09.120
You mentioned about chemotherapy, immunotherapy.
400
00:19:09.480 –> 00:19:11.300
When I go for my immunotherapy sessions,
401
00:19:11.300 –> 00:19:12.560
I’m sitting in a bay
402
00:19:12.560 –> 00:19:14.780
with five other people sometimes.
403
00:19:15.240 –> 00:19:17.960
Some of them are on short treatments
404
00:19:17.960 –> 00:19:18.740
of chemotherapy,
405
00:19:18.840 –> 00:19:20.860
some long treatments of chemotherapy.
406
00:19:21.380 –> 00:19:22.820
And sometimes you have a good old chat.
407
00:19:22.880 –> 00:19:24.440
So I was in just before Christmas
408
00:19:24.440 –> 00:19:25.860
and it was lovely chatting
409
00:19:25.860 –> 00:19:26.820
with the people in there
410
00:19:26.820 –> 00:19:28.240
because nobody actually talked
411
00:19:28.240 –> 00:19:28.880
about the cancer.
412
00:19:28.880 –> 00:19:30.120
We all talked about what else
413
00:19:30.120 –> 00:19:30.900
we were going to be doing
414
00:19:30.900 –> 00:19:32.080
over the Christmas period,
415
00:19:32.080 –> 00:19:34.200
which was absolutely lovely.
416
00:19:36.380 –> 00:19:38.920
But I think the biggest thing
417
00:19:38.920 –> 00:19:41.000
I think we need to be is kind to ourselves.
418
00:19:41.840 –> 00:19:44.500
And that is very difficult sometimes, isn’t it?
419
00:19:44.500 –> 00:19:47.200
I’ve found being kind to myself very difficult
420
00:19:47.200 –> 00:19:52.000
because I have wanted to really push myself
421
00:19:52.000 –> 00:19:54.360
to forward to getting back
422
00:19:54.360 –> 00:19:56.440
to doing things I used to do.
423
00:19:57.320 –> 00:19:59.620
And I get cross with myself
424
00:19:59.620 –> 00:20:01.280
when I can’t do that.
425
00:20:01.760 –> 00:20:06.060
And I sometimes can be very nasty to myself
426
00:20:06.060 –> 00:20:07.480
and that is so difficult.
427
00:20:07.900 –> 00:20:09.500
Yeah, when you get to that point
428
00:20:09.500 –> 00:20:11.000
that’s when you need to be talking
429
00:20:11.000 –> 00:20:12.480
to someone, talk to a friend.
430
00:20:12.900 –> 00:20:14.080
Talk to a friend because a friend
431
00:20:14.080 –> 00:20:15.360
will turn around to you and say,
432
00:20:15.680 –> 00:20:16.440
for goodness sake,
433
00:20:16.480 –> 00:20:17.940
you’ve been through all of this.
434
00:20:18.020 –> 00:20:19.780
Why are you trying to push yourself
435
00:20:19.780 –> 00:20:22.580
into something that you currently can’t do?
436
00:20:23.040 –> 00:20:23.760
And it’s that.
437
00:20:23.920 –> 00:20:25.540
You currently can’t do it.
438
00:20:25.940 –> 00:20:27.380
Don’t give up on it
439
00:20:27.380 –> 00:20:28.960
unless it really is something like
440
00:20:29.520 –> 00:20:31.240
you physically can’t do it anymore.
441
00:20:31.920 –> 00:20:33.280
But mostly it’s going to be
442
00:20:33.280 –> 00:20:34.400
you currently can’t do it.
443
00:20:34.460 –> 00:20:35.460
Be kind to yourself.
444
00:20:35.760 –> 00:20:36.760
Give yourself time.
445
00:20:37.180 –> 00:20:38.460
One of the key things
446
00:20:38.460 –> 00:20:39.880
I used to love doing
447
00:20:39.880 –> 00:20:43.320
before cancer was going for long, long walks.
448
00:20:43.660 –> 00:20:44.880
I loved that.
449
00:20:45.500 –> 00:20:48.660
And I remember the last long walk
450
00:20:48.660 –> 00:20:50.940
I did before I started getting
451
00:20:50.940 –> 00:20:54.180
severe symptoms where I struggled
452
00:20:54.180 –> 00:20:55.520
getting back home from a walk
453
00:20:55.520 –> 00:20:57.860
because of sudden onset of fatigue
454
00:20:58.680 –> 00:20:59.480
and pain.
455
00:20:59.980 –> 00:21:01.940
And that really shocked me.
456
00:21:02.920 –> 00:21:04.360
And I should imagine
457
00:21:04.360 –> 00:21:05.260
that was quite frightening.
458
00:21:05.420 –> 00:21:06.480
It was very frightening.
459
00:21:06.640 –> 00:21:07.480
Very frightening.
460
00:21:07.880 –> 00:21:09.780
And I didn’t know what was going on.
461
00:21:09.880 –> 00:21:13.160
And through blood cancer,
462
00:21:13.320 –> 00:21:14.720
non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma,
463
00:21:15.220 –> 00:21:17.640
I have had huge fatigue problems,
464
00:21:17.740 –> 00:21:18.640
pain problems.
465
00:21:18.840 –> 00:21:20.000
And now I’m out of treatment.
466
00:21:20.040 –> 00:21:22.260
I’m still going through a lot of that still.
467
00:21:22.520 –> 00:21:24.580
And this is one and a half years
468
00:21:24.580 –> 00:21:26.580
since I was in remission
469
00:21:26.580 –> 00:21:28.360
from my last treatment.
470
00:21:29.240 –> 00:21:31.040
And one of the things in my mind
471
00:21:31.040 –> 00:21:32.740
is I’ve got to get back walking.
472
00:21:32.880 –> 00:21:34.520
I want to do those walks again
473
00:21:34.520 –> 00:21:36.480
or some sort of semblance of them.
474
00:21:36.820 –> 00:21:38.460
And that gets me very cross
475
00:21:38.460 –> 00:21:39.600
that I can’t do it.
476
00:21:39.600 –> 00:21:41.300
I’m very upset.
477
00:21:41.300 –> 00:21:42.940
And there’s the grief side of it,
478
00:21:42.940 –> 00:21:44.460
the anger side of it.
479
00:21:45.820 –> 00:21:47.420
And out of all of that,
480
00:21:47.420 –> 00:21:48.320
if you adapt,
481
00:21:48.540 –> 00:21:50.200
you can get to something new.
482
00:21:50.940 –> 00:21:53.120
So there’s the positive in it.
483
00:21:53.140 –> 00:21:54.440
Adapt, find something
484
00:21:54.440 –> 00:21:55.800
slightly different to do.
485
00:21:55.800 –> 00:21:56.960
You might find something
486
00:21:56.960 –> 00:21:58.440
that you’ve never seen before
487
00:21:58.440 –> 00:21:59.860
and think, oh my goodness,
488
00:22:00.140 –> 00:22:01.600
I would never have seen this
489
00:22:01.600 –> 00:22:02.560
if I’d carried on doing
490
00:22:02.560 –> 00:22:03.580
what I was doing before.
491
00:22:03.860 –> 00:22:05.120
Well, this podcast
492
00:22:05.120 –> 00:22:06.460
is actually a good example
493
00:22:06.460 –> 00:22:09.740
because I never had the guts
494
00:22:09.740 –> 00:22:11.320
to set up a CIC
495
00:22:11.320 –> 00:22:12.280
or my own business
496
00:22:12.280 –> 00:22:13.960
of that nature before.
497
00:22:15.600 –> 00:22:17.180
And going through cancer
498
00:22:17.180 –> 00:22:19.640
and at this end of it,
499
00:22:19.740 –> 00:22:22.700
thinking, don’t worry about,
500
00:22:22.940 –> 00:22:23.940
just do it.
501
00:22:24.000 –> 00:22:26.440
Just do it and find the new you
502
00:22:26.440 –> 00:22:27.640
in this project.
503
00:22:28.000 –> 00:22:29.340
Yeah, just do it.
504
00:22:30.220 –> 00:22:30.960
You know, that’s your quote,
505
00:22:31.040 –> 00:22:31.440
isn’t it?
506
00:22:31.440 –> 00:22:32.240
Just do it.
507
00:22:32.240 –> 00:22:33.100
Just do it.
508
00:22:33.180 –> 00:22:34.040
Don’t hang around.
509
00:22:34.100 –> 00:22:34.960
Just do it.
510
00:22:34.960 –> 00:22:36.080
Do it while you can.
511
00:22:36.800 –> 00:22:38.740
And just tell me about
512
00:22:38.740 –> 00:22:40.640
your support network
513
00:22:40.640 –> 00:22:43.440
and how have they helped you cope
514
00:22:43.440 –> 00:22:46.260
and how have they coped themselves
515
00:22:46.260 –> 00:22:47.840
with what you’re going through?
516
00:22:48.240 –> 00:22:49.440
Yeah, that’s not an easy one
517
00:22:49.440 –> 00:22:50.360
to answer really.
518
00:22:50.400 –> 00:22:52.300
So my parents and my partner
519
00:22:52.300 –> 00:22:53.960
and my son have been around.
520
00:22:55.720 –> 00:22:57.380
I’ve sort of chosen to deal
521
00:22:57.380 –> 00:22:59.000
with a lot of it on my own
522
00:22:59.000 –> 00:23:00.520
because I needed to hear
523
00:23:00.520 –> 00:23:02.900
the information myself
524
00:23:02.900 –> 00:23:04.520
and deal with it myself
525
00:23:04.520 –> 00:23:05.880
before I shared it with them
526
00:23:05.880 –> 00:23:07.580
because I didn’t know
527
00:23:07.580 –> 00:23:08.440
how they would react
528
00:23:08.440 –> 00:23:09.500
and they probably didn’t know
529
00:23:09.500 –> 00:23:10.940
how they were going to react either.
530
00:23:11.960 –> 00:23:13.560
Obviously everybody was upset
531
00:23:13.560 –> 00:23:15.120
and there was lots of questions
532
00:23:15.120 –> 00:23:16.120
and that’s really where
533
00:23:16.120 –> 00:23:17.360
the journey has begun
534
00:23:18.200 –> 00:23:19.280
is finding the answers
535
00:23:19.280 –> 00:23:20.220
to those questions.
536
00:23:21.040 –> 00:23:21.900
So we’re coming to the end
537
00:23:21.900 –> 00:23:23.080
of this week’s podcast
538
00:23:23.080 –> 00:23:25.000
and we’ve been talking to Emma Coom
539
00:23:25.000 –> 00:23:28.220
who is not only the person’s voice
540
00:23:28.220 –> 00:23:29.640
you hear at the beginning
541
00:23:31.380 –> 00:23:33.060
but also someone
542
00:23:33.060 –> 00:23:35.760
who is going to be occurring,
543
00:23:35.980 –> 00:23:37.260
popping up throughout
544
00:23:37.260 –> 00:23:40.600
to help me find out
545
00:23:40.600 –> 00:23:43.160
about different types of support
546
00:23:43.160 –> 00:23:44.920
and talk to people
547
00:23:44.920 –> 00:23:48.520
and almost review what we’ve heard
548
00:23:48.520 –> 00:23:50.720
because this podcast
549
00:23:50.720 –> 00:23:54.140
is about lived experience as well.
550
00:23:54.780 –> 00:23:58.240
I’m sure that you listening
551
00:23:58.240 –> 00:23:59.560
to this want to know
552
00:23:59.560 –> 00:24:02.280
that we are with you
553
00:24:02.280 –> 00:24:05.000
whether it’s the type of cancer
554
00:24:05.000 –> 00:24:06.460
or just some of the support things
555
00:24:06.460 –> 00:24:08.240
that you need, you’ve heard,
556
00:24:09.080 –> 00:24:10.840
some of the things you want to hear.
557
00:24:11.040 –> 00:24:13.800
Hopefully we are echoing some of those.
558
00:24:14.300 –> 00:24:15.240
Yeah and hopefully
559
00:24:15.240 –> 00:24:17.620
we won’t step over those boundaries
560
00:24:17.620 –> 00:24:18.540
and say the things
561
00:24:18.540 –> 00:24:20.420
that you really aren’t ready to hear
562
00:24:20.420 –> 00:24:21.620
or don’t want to hear.
563
00:24:22.880 –> 00:24:24.520
With my cancer melanoma
564
00:24:24.520 –> 00:24:26.420
it’s not a very nice cancer
565
00:24:26.420 –> 00:24:28.680
if it takes hold
566
00:24:29.260 –> 00:24:30.980
but that might not be something
567
00:24:30.980 –> 00:24:32.420
that any of us want to talk about
568
00:24:32.420 –> 00:24:33.080
at the moment.
569
00:24:33.980 –> 00:24:37.000
Yes, there will be some tricky topics
570
00:24:37.000 –> 00:24:38.040
we talk about
571
00:24:38.040 –> 00:24:41.560
and we will warn you in advance
572
00:24:42.180 –> 00:24:43.360
about some of those
573
00:24:43.360 –> 00:24:44.820
because you might not want
574
00:24:44.820 –> 00:24:46.420
to hear all of them
575
00:24:46.420 –> 00:24:48.260
but we will warn you
576
00:24:48.260 –> 00:24:49.220
and it’s a podcast
577
00:24:49.220 –> 00:24:50.400
you don’t have to listen
578
00:24:50.400 –> 00:24:52.000
to all of that
579
00:24:52.580 –> 00:24:54.240
but some things do need
580
00:24:54.240 –> 00:24:55.600
to be talked about as well
581
00:24:55.600 –> 00:24:56.960
because some people do want
582
00:24:56.960 –> 00:24:58.780
to hear some of that
583
00:24:58.780 –> 00:25:01.240
and there’s language in cancer
584
00:25:01.240 –> 00:25:03.220
is tricky sometimes
585
00:25:03.220 –> 00:25:04.140
because some people
586
00:25:04.140 –> 00:25:05.620
don’t mind certain words
587
00:25:05.620 –> 00:25:07.940
some people hate certain words
588
00:25:07.940 –> 00:25:09.820
so it can be tricky
589
00:25:09.820 –> 00:25:11.360
to find the right words
590
00:25:11.360 –> 00:25:12.420
with some people.
591
00:25:12.620 –> 00:25:14.140
Yeah that’s so true
592
00:25:14.140 –> 00:25:15.580
a lot of people just call it
593
00:25:15.580 –> 00:25:16.400
the C word
594
00:25:17.120 –> 00:25:19.260
and I think you need to use
595
00:25:19.260 –> 00:25:20.340
the you need to use
596
00:25:20.340 –> 00:25:21.660
the correct word it’s cancer.
597
00:25:21.940 –> 00:25:22.600
It is cancer
598
00:25:22.600 –> 00:25:23.620
it’s not the C word
599
00:25:23.620 –> 00:25:24.720
it is cancer.
600
00:25:25.780 –> 00:25:27.380
And the name of this
601
00:25:28.340 –> 00:25:30.660
of the CIC running this podcast
602
00:25:30.660 –> 00:25:32.780
is Winning Against Cancer.
603
00:25:33.180 –> 00:25:34.760
Now some people have mentioned to me
604
00:25:34.760 –> 00:25:36.200
oh we don’t like to use
605
00:25:36.200 –> 00:25:36.940
the word winning
606
00:25:36.940 –> 00:25:38.780
I can understand why
607
00:25:38.780 –> 00:25:41.680
but when I think of it
608
00:25:41.680 –> 00:25:43.800
I’m thinking about the small wins
609
00:25:43.800 –> 00:25:44.880
within each day
610
00:25:44.880 –> 00:25:47.500
because whatever your diagnosis
611
00:25:48.420 –> 00:25:49.200
there are
612
00:25:49.200 –> 00:25:50.540
there is an opportunity
613
00:25:50.540 –> 00:25:53.360
to find some sort of win
614
00:25:53.360 –> 00:25:55.620
whether it’s speaking to a friend
615
00:25:55.620 –> 00:25:57.640
whether it is
616
00:25:57.640 –> 00:25:59.540
coming to a place like this
617
00:25:59.540 –> 00:26:00.360
in the cove
618
00:26:00.360 –> 00:26:01.930
where someone greets you
619
00:26:02.500 –> 00:26:04.460
really kindly at the desk
620
00:26:05.180 –> 00:26:07.520
and those are all wins.
621
00:26:07.840 –> 00:26:09.780
Yeah and also meeting new people
622
00:26:09.780 –> 00:26:11.140
and making new friends
623
00:26:11.140 –> 00:26:13.000
like we’ve met
624
00:26:13.000 –> 00:26:15.240
and I think we’re friends now.
625
00:26:16.060 –> 00:26:18.040
Oh is that right?
626
00:26:20.020 –> 00:26:21.700
Okay yes of course it is.
627
00:26:21.700 –> 00:26:23.440
Of course we’re going to sit here
628
00:26:23.440 –> 00:26:24.240
and have a cup of coffee
629
00:26:24.240 –> 00:26:25.020
and a sandwich
630
00:26:25.020 –> 00:26:26.520
and then music therapy.
631
00:26:26.560 –> 00:26:27.840
And then music therapy yes.
632
00:26:28.620 –> 00:26:30.720
Okay well thank you very much Emma
633
00:26:30.720 –> 00:26:32.960
and we will chat again soon.
634
00:26:33.380 –> 00:26:34.480
Brilliant thanks Matthew.
635
00:26:34.700 –> 00:26:36.920
And if any of the issues
636
00:26:36.920 –> 00:26:38.180
in this podcast
637
00:26:38.180 –> 00:26:40.660
have sparked some thoughts
638
00:26:40.660 –> 00:26:42.540
that you need support in
639
00:26:42.540 –> 00:26:44.300
then there is
640
00:26:44.300 –> 00:26:45.840
Macmillan online
641
00:26:45.840 –> 00:26:48.480
which has support available.
642
00:26:48.880 –> 00:26:51.000
There are some phone lines as well
643
00:26:51.000 –> 00:26:51.760
which you can phone
644
00:26:51.760 –> 00:26:54.160
any time of the day or week.
645
00:26:54.720 –> 00:26:56.160
Cancer Support UK
646
00:26:56.160 –> 00:26:58.620
also have lots of support online.
647
00:26:59.440 –> 00:27:01.980
Or you can come into either
648
00:27:01.980 –> 00:27:03.920
the Mustard Tree in Derriford
649
00:27:03.920 –> 00:27:07.880
or the Cove at the Royal Cornwall Hospital
650
00:27:07.880 –> 00:27:11.180
to receive instant support
651
00:27:11.180 –> 00:27:13.520
from the people around there.
652
00:27:13.780 –> 00:27:15.880
So there is a lot available
653
00:27:15.880 –> 00:27:18.160
so you can talk things through.
654
00:27:18.280 –> 00:27:20.540
Thanks to the National Lottery Community Fund
655
00:27:20.540 –> 00:27:22.480
for supporting this podcast.
656
00:27:22.620 –> 00:27:24.020
And thank you to them
657
00:27:24.020 –> 00:27:25.640
for giving us the money
658
00:27:25.640 –> 00:27:27.700
to be able to bring you
659
00:27:27.700 –> 00:27:30.180
this virtual Cancer Cafe
660
00:27:30.180 –> 00:27:32.060
to give you support.
661
00:27:32.660 –> 00:27:34.600
See you again next week.