WEBVTT
1
00:00:03.790 –> 00:00:11.030
You’re listening to the Cornwall Cancer Cafe podcast with me Matthew Clark and me Emma Coombe
2
00:00:11.030 –> 00:00:18.270
Thanks to the National Lottery Community Fund for supporting this podcast. So this week we’ve got Rob
3
00:00:18.270 –> 00:00:21.530
Stott on the show. I’ll tell you a little bit about him in a sec
4
00:00:21.530 –> 00:00:25.630
But I am going to start with the most important part of the show
5
00:00:25.630 –> 00:00:31.030
Which of course is big hugs big hugs to everybody because when you give a hug you get a hug and
6
00:00:31.030 –> 00:00:38.270
Also, the other important thing is just to let people know that I’m not a doctor. I’m not a psychologist
7
00:00:38.270 –> 00:00:42.030
I’m not a counselor. Are you Emma? I’m none of those things either. No
8
00:00:42.030 –> 00:00:44.410
Okay, so let’s move on to Rob
9
00:00:44.950 –> 00:00:48.670
He calls himself Cornish Rob. He’s he’s quite a character and
10
00:00:50.370 –> 00:00:55.750
He has gone through a testicular cancer
11
00:00:55.750 –> 00:01:00.870
Experience as well and he will explain it’s not just testicular cancer
12
00:01:00.870 –> 00:01:04.590
So I went to Victoria Park in
13
00:01:05.010 –> 00:01:10.310
Redruth where there was no one around and sat on a sunny bench with him and had this chat
14
00:01:10.310 –> 00:01:15.010
It was 2008. I got this diagnosis and I was living the best life ever
15
00:01:15.950 –> 00:01:19.890
Fit healthy swimming the length of the fistual beach didn’t drink didn’t smoke
16
00:01:19.890 –> 00:01:24.730
did my monthly examinations, which you should do as men and
17
00:01:24.730 –> 00:01:25.550
Found the lump
18
00:01:26.410 –> 00:01:30.750
So it was about the size of a grain of rice and it was like a pebble
19
00:01:30.870 –> 00:01:34.210
Where was this lump? This was in lefty. So the left testy
20
00:01:36.030 –> 00:01:36.430
I
21
00:01:36.430 –> 00:01:41.310
Was gonna say fondly known as lefty because he wasn’t fondly known as lefty once I found it was cancer
22
00:01:42.710 –> 00:01:44.030
And yeah, I just found a lump
23
00:01:44.610 –> 00:01:46.770
So I had that for three days
24
00:01:47.830 –> 00:01:53.310
Not quite burying my head in the sand because every available minute you’ll put in your hand there and going oh she’s still there
25
00:01:54.090 –> 00:02:00.110
What do I do? And what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to going to look at now that as a man of
26
00:02:00.610 –> 00:02:06.090
Getting your bits out to a stranger is not something I think most men want to do and I had to do it
27
00:02:06.090 –> 00:02:08.250
So I booked in to see my GP
28
00:02:09.070 –> 00:02:11.750
Went in to see my GP and thank goodness
29
00:02:12.530 –> 00:02:15.950
he took it seriously because I’d read awful stories of
30
00:02:16.750 –> 00:02:20.250
GPs just going. Oh you’ve strained it or
31
00:02:20.810 –> 00:02:27.170
Forget about it looking at another thing that could have caused something a torsion or something and my GP was like mmm
32
00:02:27.170 –> 00:02:28.570
They’re like look at this
33
00:02:29.510 –> 00:02:35.850
And then you start it hits the fan basically, so I was sent off the bloods
34
00:02:35.850 –> 00:02:38.870
I was sent off for traces in my bloods. I was sent off for
35
00:02:39.450 –> 00:02:41.830
ultra scans and
36
00:02:41.830 –> 00:02:47.790
The ultra scan was in my GC surgery of my bits as it were and that was scary because I’d awful
37
00:02:48.550 –> 00:02:51.910
Fears that it was someone I knew and I’m gonna go in there and get me bits out
38
00:02:51.910 –> 00:02:56.610
So and as I said to the elderly lady that did it I did say that’s the first
39
00:02:57.330 –> 00:03:03.230
Lady I’ve taken my clothes off to that I haven’t slept with so she thought that was quite funny and then
40
00:03:04.190 –> 00:03:06.390
They’re not allowed to tell me but
41
00:03:06.390 –> 00:03:13.670
You’re a human being it was it was pretty obvious as she was going over lefty that her face dropped and I
42
00:03:15.190 –> 00:03:20.610
Could see that as a human being and she said like I can’t I can’t I said is that bad and is it cancer?
43
00:03:21.370 –> 00:03:24.010
And she’s one. I can’t tell you that she says but
44
00:03:24.710 –> 00:03:32.030
You’re gonna be sorted and that’s that was the word so I left there went back home burst into tears
45
00:03:32.030 –> 00:03:36.610
completely normal reaction, I think burst into tears and then
46
00:03:37.510 –> 00:03:39.750
It literally hit the fan then
47
00:03:39.750 –> 00:03:47.650
My traces were elevated and I went in then because then that was the fear that I had then was is
48
00:03:47.650 –> 00:03:52.710
That like the secondary is that not the first cancer and the rest of my body is riddled
49
00:03:52.710 –> 00:04:00.310
Because we do hear that and I went in for like a full torso and body scan which was
50
00:04:01.510 –> 00:04:03.010
I was gonna say fun
51
00:04:03.010 –> 00:04:07.370
Only because they put half a liter of jelly on you and then they give you a little
52
00:04:07.370 –> 00:04:13.830
Napkin sized piece of tissue to wipe it off. I was watching this guy like a hawk to see whether and he’s like
53
00:04:13.830 –> 00:04:16.430
Yeah, there’s nothing in your kidneys. There’s nothing in your spleen
54
00:04:17.170 –> 00:04:21.950
Pancreas went all through my torso and everything was fine, which was nice
55
00:04:21.950 –> 00:04:28.970
But not nice nice that you’re being looked at nice that my NHS is you notice I say my it’s my NHS
56
00:04:28.970 –> 00:04:31.370
It’s it’s everyone’s NHS and it’s the most
57
00:04:32.510 –> 00:04:40.550
Beautiful and human thing that could ever exist on the planet. That’s my little praise for the NHS and I
58
00:04:40.550 –> 00:04:42.770
Had all these ultrasounds and everything was fine
59
00:04:42.770 –> 00:04:46.650
So then it comes down to you got given Deb’s cancer nurse
60
00:04:46.650 –> 00:04:49.310
So she was trying to get hold of me eventually rung me and said
61
00:04:49.850 –> 00:04:52.450
Gonna get you in on the 28th of
62
00:04:53.030 –> 00:04:57.490
Let me think 28th of March. I think it was and I’m like, oh, okay then and she’s yeah
63
00:04:57.490 –> 00:05:01.710
We’re gonna we’re gonna chop your left testy off in an orchidectomy. Oh
64
00:05:02.250 –> 00:05:06.590
And now it’s quite funny because you’d think that would be quite a bad thing
65
00:05:06.590 –> 00:05:12.750
Like somebody gonna cut your left testy off isn’t the type of good news that so have they actually told you it was cancer
66
00:05:12.770 –> 00:05:15.810
Yeah, yeah, I’d been in I saw her
67
00:05:17.530 –> 00:05:22.810
Yeah, I think that was it I think I cut told told over the phone I think by pretty much
68
00:05:22.810 –> 00:05:26.410
I was she was we were trying to get hold of each other and
69
00:05:26.410 –> 00:05:29.010
Eventually she did and I think yeah, we did it on the phone
70
00:05:29.010 –> 00:05:31.090
I think I said to a lot it’s pretty obvious
71
00:05:31.090 –> 00:05:35.970
I can tell by the look on the lady’s face and you’ve been ringing me non-stop for like 12 hours or something
72
00:05:35.970 –> 00:05:40.350
So it’s pretty obvious. I’ve got cancer. So
73
00:05:40.350 –> 00:05:48.150
Yeah, okay, so so I’m you you have your left testicle removed. Yeah and
74
00:05:49.890 –> 00:05:55.830
You go through the whole sort of chemo well now here this is where it gets weird
75
00:05:57.050 –> 00:06:02.050
Obviously they take your left testy off in a day in and out in a day
76
00:06:02.310 –> 00:06:07.610
So that was that was quite interesting itself because I’m going in there and the urologist
77
00:06:07.610 –> 00:06:10.790
I’d seen that actually I’d seen a urologist before the actual operation and
78
00:06:12.710 –> 00:06:13.450
He’s like
79
00:06:13.450 –> 00:06:17.870
It wasn’t until the actual operation day that they started speaking about prosthetics
80
00:06:17.870 –> 00:06:21.690
Now I’d already scared the life out of myself on Google looking at
81
00:06:22.630 –> 00:06:27.530
festering scrotums that have rejected this testy and I kind of made it in my head
82
00:06:27.530 –> 00:06:34.130
Yeah, there’s no way I’m putting something inside my body that I could reject and then end up in a worse pickle
83
00:06:34.850 –> 00:06:36.490
So I got rid of
84
00:06:37.310 –> 00:06:41.350
Lefty as it were and when I’m sat there with the urologist and he’s a very posh
85
00:06:42.850 –> 00:06:44.190
scientific urologist called
86
00:06:45.830 –> 00:06:51.170
Dr. Willis, which I thought was funny because he looks at Willie’s and if you do but I could that was on his door
87
00:06:51.170 –> 00:06:51.810
Sorry
88
00:06:52.350 –> 00:06:53.890
So I thought that’s weird
89
00:06:54.910 –> 00:06:55.270
and
90
00:06:56.030 –> 00:07:00.570
He saw said when I was had the gown on which I threatened to put on the wrong way and the nurse says
91
00:07:00.570 –> 00:07:04.030
Well, you don’t want to scare the nurses putting it on the wrong way as in the operation gown
92
00:07:05.250 –> 00:07:10.370
And I’d already rehearsed what I was gonna say when I woke up because I was more petrified of the anesthetic
93
00:07:10.370 –> 00:07:15.230
Of being knocked out for the anesthetic for the orchidectomy and to be honest once they tell you
94
00:07:15.810 –> 00:07:20.570
That that lump in your test is cancer. You take the Stanley knife and do it yourself
95
00:07:20.570 –> 00:07:22.770
I could not wait to get rid of it
96
00:07:22.770 –> 00:07:26.590
And he was always slightly bigger as well that one which I thought was slightly strange
97
00:07:27.470 –> 00:07:33.110
That he went you don’t need to if any guys are listening. You do not need to I’m 51
98
00:07:33.110 –> 00:07:36.850
You still don’t need to and I’ve had to have a vasectomy at what?
99
00:07:37.110 –> 00:07:41.650
4950 so you don’t need to the only thing that before I had my
100
00:07:42.490 –> 00:07:45.370
Let me think let me think. Yeah lefty went
101
00:07:46.610 –> 00:07:47.570
so I
102
00:07:47.570 –> 00:07:53.110
Was with dr. Willis and he said oh can we put prosthetics in and I did wonder then if he had
103
00:07:53.110 –> 00:07:57.730
A contract with the silicon testes and then I was thinking to myself
104
00:07:57.730 –> 00:08:02.490
Oh, he probably doesn’t make as much as commission as a lady
105
00:08:02.490 –> 00:08:10.230
Who’s having a mastectomy and having some implants because obviously you how many you’re gonna want a small tiny fake ball
106
00:08:11.130 –> 00:08:14.650
So yeah, so that was quite funny. This is how my brain is working at this stage
107
00:08:15.570 –> 00:08:15.970
so
108
00:08:16.470 –> 00:08:22.390
He got quite pushy about having a prosthetic and I’m like, no, I don’t want I can put one in now
109
00:08:22.390 –> 00:08:27.530
And I’m like, look, why do I want one? I said why well for aesthetics. I’m like, well I can understand
110
00:08:28.270 –> 00:08:32.590
Ladies having a breast but I don’t walk down the street and people go look at him
111
00:08:32.590 –> 00:08:38.350
Look at him the way he’s walking. He’s comfy on a motorbike. I might get to that in a minute
112
00:08:39.750 –> 00:08:43.169
So yeah, so I did when he said I can put one in now
113
00:08:43.169 –> 00:08:47.930
I did actually turn around say he could put a couple of inches in the middle bit as
114
00:08:47.930 –> 00:08:49.570
A joke and he just looked at me
115
00:08:57.710 –> 00:08:59.010
visit our website
116
00:09:02.490 –> 00:09:04.050
www.cancercafepodcasts.org
117
00:09:04.050 –> 00:09:08.850
You had another diagnosis. Yes. So after you have your left testy removed
118
00:09:09.830 –> 00:09:13.170
The stitches I took out myself because they’re a bit itchy
119
00:09:13.170 –> 00:09:19.590
Took them out was back surfing was back with a girlfriend and they watch you like a hawk
120
00:09:19.590 –> 00:09:21.070
So I was in every week for bloods
121
00:09:21.070 –> 00:09:25.910
I was in every I think every week for an x-ray chest x-ray and every I think couple of weeks
122
00:09:25.910 –> 00:09:31.270
I would go in for a CT scan and my consultant walked in and
123
00:09:31.270 –> 00:09:35.650
I turned around so I don’t want to be seeing you in it. Do I and he said no
124
00:09:36.210 –> 00:09:41.890
And I said, so where’s it gone? And he said you’ve got four nodules in your lungs for tumors
125
00:09:43.290 –> 00:09:46.570
So I called him a CUNT burst into tears
126
00:09:47.630 –> 00:09:53.470
For about two seconds and then I get back to the job at hand
127
00:09:53.470 –> 00:09:56.390
We discussed that it would be chemo. So I discussed
128
00:09:58.250 –> 00:10:00.310
Term as in my life term
129
00:10:01.090 –> 00:10:05.250
Is it worth having chemo that will because he did say give me five years
130
00:10:05.250 –> 00:10:10.790
he said you give me five years of your life, he says and that’s all I need and
131
00:10:10.790 –> 00:10:16.690
I’m like, yeah, but is that I give you five years. You make me feel like crap and give me chemo and
132
00:10:16.690 –> 00:10:20.650
Then I die six years later because you can whistle for the chemo
133
00:10:20.650 –> 00:10:25.190
And I and I think back now that this was a very a
134
00:10:25.190 –> 00:10:27.430
very important thing to say and
135
00:10:28.250 –> 00:10:31.030
He he gave me a 95%
136
00:10:31.030 –> 00:10:32.870
cure rate and
137
00:10:32.870 –> 00:10:37.350
You must you must understand that just because you get because as far as I was concerned, I’ve got cancer
138
00:10:37.350 –> 00:10:41.010
I’m gonna die. That was what my brain was telling me from
139
00:10:41.510 –> 00:10:44.810
The way we’ve been brought up in the Western world you get cancer you die
140
00:10:44.810 –> 00:10:47.910
That’s it. And that’s basically what I thought and when he started going on
141
00:10:47.910 –> 00:10:53.690
It’s a 95% cure rate and I’m like, yeah, I said, well is that a cure rate I die in 10 years
142
00:10:53.690 –> 00:10:59.130
Oh, no cure rate with testicular cancer cure rate if you catch it early like all cancers
143
00:10:59.130 –> 00:11:02.570
You’ve got to go in and catch it early and I’m like, well, that’s a pretty
144
00:11:02.570 –> 00:11:10.270
That’s a pretty brave statement from a consultant to say that he would he would cure me if it worked
145
00:11:10.270 –> 00:11:15.370
And again 95% cure rate. It sounds good if you’re listening to this
146
00:11:15.370 –> 00:11:22.090
But if you’re having it there is no percentages that you could tell someone that would you believe them because you don’t know if
147
00:11:22.790 –> 00:11:24.650
you’re in the
148
00:11:24.650 –> 00:11:30.290
Five percent that is gonna die. So which is always the panic. So I
149
00:11:30.290 –> 00:11:36.270
Then I then said right what what’s happening then and I tend to I tend to treated it like I was repairing a piece of machinery
150
00:11:36.970 –> 00:11:41.270
So he said chemo right how much enough to kill you?
151
00:11:41.870 –> 00:11:42.390
Okay
152
00:11:42.950 –> 00:11:48.130
That was his words enough to kill you right he says and you can wave bye-bye to your summer
153
00:11:48.130 –> 00:11:54.810
So I said, right. Okay, so it was he his his reckoning was I needed nine weeks of
154
00:11:54.810 –> 00:11:56.030
three weekly cycles
155
00:11:56.570 –> 00:12:01.190
So this is someone who’s never been in hospital in his life properly overnight
156
00:12:02.230 –> 00:12:05.950
Smashed holes in my head and do home surgery on fingers and stuff
157
00:12:05.950 –> 00:12:11.210
So I tend not to and you’ve got to be pretty ill to warrant going hospital in my family
158
00:12:12.270 –> 00:12:16.730
And that’s still today you’ve got to be ill to go to hospital and
159
00:12:18.090 –> 00:12:18.530
I
160
00:12:18.530 –> 00:12:23.190
was back surfing and swimming the length of Fistral Beach and
161
00:12:23.190 –> 00:12:25.330
loving life and
162
00:12:25.330 –> 00:12:30.990
Yeah, he said basically that’s it. So he says and I went in that was on a Monday. I
163
00:12:30.990 –> 00:12:34.550
Think was it a Friday? No a Friday. No, hang on. Let me try and get me days
164
00:12:34.550 –> 00:12:37.590
Anyway, too confusing but before I had to do that
165
00:12:37.590 –> 00:12:40.570
I had to go up and he gave me the option of freezing my fish
166
00:12:40.570 –> 00:12:47.730
So leaving a sperm sample in Derriford, which is a funny story in itself having to do that
167
00:12:47.730 –> 00:12:52.610
We’ll cover that on another time. So but quite important because the chemotherapy will
168
00:12:53.310 –> 00:12:59.450
Damage your sperm and if you want to have children in a later date and they’ll keep it for ten years
169
00:13:00.850 –> 00:13:04.250
You may want to do that much as it’s quite weird
170
00:13:04.250 –> 00:13:10.050
You have to look at these things that chemo will damage your ability to reproduce
171
00:13:10.050 –> 00:13:14.950
So let’s move on to the lung cancer. Okay, so this is this is when it starts
172
00:13:14.950 –> 00:13:18.890
So that would be on the Wednesday the Sunday. This is how quick it moved
173
00:13:18.890 –> 00:13:22.570
So I went in for my CT scan on the Monday now
174
00:13:22.570 –> 00:13:27.930
I’ve got it the Monday was a CT scan and you go and see the consultant straight after he then tells you you’ve got
175
00:13:27.930 –> 00:13:33.890
Four tumors in your lungs. You then go up on Wednesday to Derriford from Cornwall and you freeze your fish
176
00:13:33.890 –> 00:13:40.030
You leave your sperm sample you then go in on a Sunday and you start your first of the 21 day cycle
177
00:13:40.690 –> 00:13:46.930
So you will go in on a Sunday afternoon ish. They will cannulize you and they will start hydrating you
178
00:13:47.490 –> 00:13:52.610
Monday morning you start chemo. So Monday chemo Tuesday chemo Wednesday chemo
179
00:13:53.270 –> 00:13:55.610
Thursday chemo Friday chemo
180
00:13:55.610 –> 00:14:01.430
Okay, so that’s your day five and that’s ranging from a six hour chemo to an eight hour chemo
181
00:14:01.430 –> 00:14:04.870
Depending on what chemo they’re giving you so I had BEP
182
00:14:04.870 –> 00:14:07.790
So that’s a bleah mice in a top side to spline
183
00:14:07.790 –> 00:14:13.310
Equally nice chemicals to be put in in your body to make you feel wonderful now
184
00:14:14.310 –> 00:14:19.810
I was probably quite odd in the hospital because I’ve never been and
185
00:14:19.810 –> 00:14:21.170
I was a little bit frightened
186
00:14:21.170 –> 00:14:26.410
so you do you finish your Friday chemo and you then stay in for that that day until
187
00:14:26.410 –> 00:14:30.750
Saturday and then you go out and you’re kicked out and the first chemo
188
00:14:31.350 –> 00:14:31.850
So
189
00:14:31.850 –> 00:14:36.670
My Tuesdays was my sick day because you’re gonna be sick on chemo
190
00:14:36.670 –> 00:14:40.030
It was quite funny because they gave me a pamphlet that was more like an annual
191
00:14:40.030 –> 00:14:44.690
And it was so thick about the side effects the side effects of chemotherapy
192
00:14:44.690 –> 00:14:49.600
You’re gonna have side effects of chemotherapy and it frightened me a little bit because I’m reading through this
193
00:14:50.250 –> 00:14:52.900
this booklet and this book of
194
00:14:53.810 –> 00:14:59.270
Every type of side effect you could possibly imagine and I’m panicking because I’m thinking I’m gonna have diarrhea
195
00:14:59.270 –> 00:15:01.930
I’m gonna have constipation my teeth are gonna fall out
196
00:15:01.930 –> 00:15:06.310
They might not fall out all these things that are gonna happen that you could possibly think of with your body
197
00:15:06.310 –> 00:15:09.130
And I’m like, I don’t know if I could do this, you know
198
00:15:09.130 –> 00:15:12.710
I’m a 34 year old man, and I don’t know if I can
199
00:15:13.230 –> 00:15:16.390
Take all this that’s gonna happen. So I did ask and they said well
200
00:15:16.390 –> 00:15:19.290
You don’t we don’t know which ones you’re gonna get which was kind of nice
201
00:15:19.290 –> 00:15:24.630
But kind of scary because you don’t know what your body’s gonna do. So your first week of chemo
202
00:15:25.790 –> 00:15:28.330
Your I’m not gonna say you’re healthy because it’s pretty horrible
203
00:15:28.930 –> 00:15:32.630
But you’re still with it, you know, you can get yourself in and out of bed
204
00:15:32.630 –> 00:15:37.830
You can wash and clean yourself and I think at that stage I was dating a girl in London
205
00:15:37.830 –> 00:15:44.050
So I actually drove up to London during that first break because you will then go back in for day 15
206
00:15:44.050 –> 00:15:49.010
So you finish on day? No day 9. Sorry. So you then go in day 9 and day 15
207
00:15:49.010 –> 00:15:51.890
So the first day the Monday is your first day
208
00:15:51.890 –> 00:15:57.430
so then you’ll do your week in hospital and then you go back in for the ninth day and
209
00:15:57.430 –> 00:15:59.430
Have an outpatient chemo
210
00:15:59.970 –> 00:16:02.950
About four hours, maybe I think off the top of my head
211
00:16:02.950 –> 00:16:05.850
It was around about four hours sitting in a little chair as an outpatient
212
00:16:07.010 –> 00:16:13.750
cannulized pump you another bag of chemo in then you go back in on day nine and you have another
213
00:16:13.750 –> 00:16:17.010
Outpatient hit of chemo and then you have a little break
214
00:16:24.500 –> 00:16:30.520
Share this podcast on your social media. So others may benefit. So where are you now?
215
00:16:31.080 –> 00:16:32.960
I’m gonna die of old age
216
00:16:32.960 –> 00:16:39.180
Yeah, that’s that’s my going back to him saying I’ll cure you and we know
217
00:16:39.980 –> 00:16:47.920
That testicular cancer has a 95% cure rate. It’s the best one. So so look we’re moving this on now
218
00:16:47.920 –> 00:16:55.500
So one of the things that I wanted to talk to you about is asking for help because there’s something you talked about
219
00:16:56.340 –> 00:16:58.340
Yeah, do you know what? It’s very difficult
220
00:16:58.340 –> 00:17:02.240
I I was one of the most important things if you’ve got to go and get looked at early
221
00:17:02.240 –> 00:17:08.690
And the other thing that that I cannot reiterate to you now after being what 2008 and now it’s
222
00:17:11.260 –> 00:17:12.180
2026 so
223
00:17:12.180 –> 00:17:17.280
Your cancer is always with you, but you’ve got to ask for this help. Now. I’d always been the helpee
224
00:17:18.240 –> 00:17:22.680
I’d always been the person people would come to can you help me with this? What do I do about this?
225
00:17:22.700 –> 00:17:28.220
I’ve got this letter from the bank or the government or something that’s going on people would always ask for my advice
226
00:17:28.220 –> 00:17:29.900
And I would give it
227
00:17:29.900 –> 00:17:33.720
Whether or not advice is there’s always a problem with advice because it’s free
228
00:17:33.720 –> 00:17:38.400
But I would always do my best and then suddenly I’m on the end of this
229
00:17:38.400 –> 00:17:46.560
This disease where I’m losing control of who I am because you do because that’s what chemotherapy does to you
230
00:17:46.880 –> 00:17:51.800
Mentally cancer does it to you chemotherapy just exaggerates it and I had to ask for help
231
00:17:51.800 –> 00:17:55.180
And that was a really difficult for a super fit strong
232
00:17:55.860 –> 00:18:00.900
Confident guy to be ringing up for help whether it be with benefits
233
00:18:00.900 –> 00:18:04.800
Whether it be with the NHS whether it be with Maccas Macmillan
234
00:18:05.720 –> 00:18:07.520
Who were just phenomenal?
235
00:18:08.100 –> 00:18:13.220
But you’ve got to ask for that help or whether it’s to say can I have a wheelchair today to go for my chemo?
236
00:18:13.220 –> 00:18:15.140
Because I can’t get from the car
237
00:18:15.140 –> 00:18:22.240
To the hospital. Do you think people too afraid of asking for help? Oh god, I would have thought so I mean
238
00:18:22.240 –> 00:18:24.160
I wouldn’t ask for help
239
00:18:24.160 –> 00:18:25.000
before
240
00:18:25.900 –> 00:18:31.980
So I don’t think I lost the ability of being afraid but I suddenly had to you know
241
00:18:31.980 –> 00:18:35.200
You don’t have to ask for help. And what about?
242
00:18:35.820 –> 00:18:39.960
What you learned about people offering you help what?
243
00:18:40.820 –> 00:18:44.160
Challenges do you think they had in offering you help?
244
00:18:44.560 –> 00:18:49.280
See, I don’t know because I I don’t know whether they were doing it to make them feel better because maybe that does
245
00:18:49.280 –> 00:18:51.560
Make them feel better because people want to do something
246
00:18:51.560 –> 00:18:57.460
There is sweet FA you can do for that person unless you are a consultant or someone who’s
247
00:18:57.460 –> 00:19:03.900
Injecting the chemotherapy in you. There’s not a lot you can do but people feel maybe because they love you so much
248
00:19:03.900 –> 00:19:05.800
they want to help you as in friends and
249
00:19:06.740 –> 00:19:11.160
You have to accept that you have to think about what good that does to them
250
00:19:11.680 –> 00:19:19.840
Because they’re not handling it as well as you and it’s very difficult as a as a cancer person
251
00:19:19.840 –> 00:19:22.280
So it’s your cancer for you
252
00:19:22.280 –> 00:19:29.160
Okay, and you mustn’t lose track of the fact of its other people’s cancer, but they’re not suffering it
253
00:19:29.160 –> 00:19:36.060
But you’re suffering it because it’s your cancer, but they’re having to watch you suffer and and we just had a quick touch
254
00:19:36.060 –> 00:19:38.040
on that I I
255
00:19:38.040 –> 00:19:43.740
Often used to think about my my nurses and my doctors who are caring for me that when you join the NHS
256
00:19:43.740 –> 00:19:47.060
the whole reason you join the NHS is to help people and
257
00:19:47.700 –> 00:19:51.080
You suddenly get a guy in who’s super fit again
258
00:19:51.080 –> 00:19:54.900
And you’re gonna give him enough chemo to kill him
259
00:19:54.900 –> 00:20:01.240
Reduce him to six stone make his teeth fall out make him turn scaly like a fish and that’s
260
00:20:02.500 –> 00:20:05.480
Good that’s meant to be good. That’s what’s
261
00:20:06.240 –> 00:20:09.640
Curing me. I don’t know how as a as a helpy
262
00:20:10.360 –> 00:20:15.440
Provider of the NHS how that feels to suddenly see me during the course of
263
00:20:16.160 –> 00:20:18.620
321 day cycles, so nine weeks
264
00:20:18.620 –> 00:20:23.990
Watching me go from yay. Come on. Where’s my chemo cure my cancer. Let’s do this to
265
00:20:24.940 –> 00:20:26.640
Lying on a bench
266
00:20:26.640 –> 00:20:32.700
Unable to get to where I have to go without help and then at one point passing out
267
00:20:32.700 –> 00:20:36.780
My second to last hit so that was the day nine
268
00:20:36.780 –> 00:20:41.560
So I would have had the day nine and then the day 15 and the day 15 would have been the finish of
269
00:20:41.560 –> 00:20:43.120
the three weekly cycles
270
00:20:43.120 –> 00:20:51.120
I collapsed and I always said to everyone that the body that I’m in my shell my carcass would
271
00:20:51.120 –> 00:20:58.000
Go and finish before mentally. I gave up on wanting my chemo and
272
00:20:58.000 –> 00:21:04.460
It did which was hilarious in itself when I’ve never passed out before not even drunk enough to pass out never
273
00:21:04.460 –> 00:21:09.080
I’ve been knocked out a few times, but never passed out. So wanting to be
274
00:21:09.080 –> 00:21:14.820
With it and aware and I’m sat having this chemo and I remember saying I’m not just talking about it now
275
00:21:14.820 –> 00:21:20.660
I can remember the hot emotion I had and and just going oh, I feel awfully hot and and and the nurse is going
276
00:21:20.660 –> 00:21:25.260
Oh, you’re right. That’s well. I just feel a bit. Oh just feel a bit hot, you know bearing in mind
277
00:21:25.260 –> 00:21:30.740
I’m six stone. I wasn’t eating. I wasn’t drinking. My teeth were received the guns were receding
278
00:21:30.740 –> 00:21:37.480
I was pretty much. Yeah, I was out of it. Okay, let’s I just want some to finish off just some
279
00:21:38.440 –> 00:21:41.120
The three brief tips to give to people
280
00:21:42.360 –> 00:21:42.840
about
281
00:21:43.500 –> 00:21:45.200
accepting help or
282
00:21:45.200 –> 00:21:50.240
Giving help to a cancer person with their cancer diagnosis. Well, you’ve just said it, haven’t you?
283
00:21:50.380 –> 00:21:52.160
You’ve just said it you’ve got to accept the help
284
00:21:52.160 –> 00:21:58.080
the most important thing about cancer is accept the help and even if it’s just from a friend saying oh
285
00:21:58.080 –> 00:22:02.180
I’ll come and do your dishes or just come and sit with you all that my friends
286
00:22:02.180 –> 00:22:06.840
I’ll put you on the back of my 900cc motorbike when you can barely walk and take me out
287
00:22:06.840 –> 00:22:12.800
Which I remember vividly to the day of having my visor up and I can’t walk at this stage
288
00:22:12.800 –> 00:22:14.240
I had to be helped on the back of the bike
289
00:22:14.240 –> 00:22:19.560
But just feeling that air on my face and and the noise and the wind
290
00:22:20.080 –> 00:22:24.720
You’ve got to allow people to to help you and it’s very difficult
291
00:22:24.720 –> 00:22:26.800
You don’t want people to faff around you
292
00:22:26.800 –> 00:22:32.740
I didn’t but it’s you have to think it’s about them as well as you and
293
00:22:32.740 –> 00:22:36.660
By making them feel better by allowing them to help even if they’re just bringing you some milk
294
00:22:36.840 –> 00:22:38.080
and I suppose
295
00:22:38.080 –> 00:22:42.100
Just as one of these quick tips
296
00:22:42.100 –> 00:22:48.000
It’s important as well for the person going through the diagnosis
297
00:22:48.000 –> 00:22:55.840
themselves to I’m to understand that the person offering them help is probably having as much a
298
00:22:55.840 –> 00:23:00.060
Challenge in offering you help as you are have accepting it and that’s true
299
00:23:00.060 –> 00:23:05.460
And that’s what I was trying to put across you you you have your cancer, but they’re going through that can’t your cancer
300
00:23:05.460 –> 00:23:09.860
You know, you’re going through they’re going through your cancer if that makes sense
301
00:23:09.860 –> 00:23:15.960
So yeah, it’s it’s horrible for you to go through but they’re watching you go through it and they’re unable to help
302
00:23:15.960 –> 00:23:20.020
They cannot do anything. They cannot change it. They cannot
303
00:23:20.020 –> 00:23:24.460
Make it quicker. They can’t make it better. They can only watch
304
00:23:24.460 –> 00:23:32.140
And I spoke to my mom about and I said to my mom how how was it watching me go from a fit and healthy
305
00:23:32.140 –> 00:23:40.160
34 year old someone whose teeth are falling out fish finger did that by the way crumpled my teeth and
306
00:23:40.160 –> 00:23:42.340
not being able to
307
00:23:42.340 –> 00:23:48.580
Get from the car to go and have your chemo because you’re so ill and she just she would just say it’s horrible
308
00:23:48.580 –> 00:23:54.360
it was horrible and to watch your own son go through that especially a
309
00:23:54.360 –> 00:23:57.680
Son who was pretty healthy, I mean, I don’t know
310
00:23:57.680 –> 00:24:01.320
I mean I’m stereotyping you expect to see someone who abuses their body be ill
311
00:24:02.140 –> 00:24:03.340
Say that my brother
312
00:24:04.440 –> 00:24:06.160
Does abuse his body and he’s fine?
313
00:24:06.860 –> 00:24:12.840
Um, and then someone a lot of my friends would go not you rob not you. Why are you which is another thing?
314
00:24:13.260 –> 00:24:15.040
Um, I didn’t like that
315
00:24:15.520 –> 00:24:19.440
That person came and sat on the end of my bed and I said don’t come visit because he said why are you
316
00:24:19.440 –> 00:24:21.840
Whereas I wanted people to see me and go. Oh not dead yet. Then
317
00:24:22.440 –> 00:24:25.740
That’s what I wanted. I wanted that humor that dark
318
00:24:25.740 –> 00:24:33.400
So actually that’s a great thing to say because we are talking about doing an episode of this podcast on cancer humor
319
00:24:34.100 –> 00:24:36.220
We are going to think about it very deeply
320
00:24:36.220 –> 00:24:41.980
So maybe uh, we’ll get you back in to chat about that in the future
321
00:24:41.980 –> 00:24:48.380
Look rob, thank you very much for going through this story with us because the whole thing about
322
00:24:48.880 –> 00:24:55.020
Asking for help and giving help is so important. Thank you so much and we’ll meet you again
323
00:24:55.020 –> 00:24:59.520
Well, well, thank you. And I mean anything that that brings this to light is good
324
00:24:59.520 –> 00:25:01.840
And and if somebody listens this and goes, oh, yeah
325
00:25:01.840 –> 00:25:05.100
That that string that hits a nerve with me then that’s good
326
00:25:05.100 –> 00:25:09.320
And that that’s the best thing for this and you’ve got to talk about it and that’s another thing talk about it
327
00:25:09.880 –> 00:25:15.460
Like just talk about with everyone random members of the pub public because especially if you’ve got cancer
328
00:25:15.460 –> 00:25:18.560
I mean we’re in a club if it’s a club. No one wants to join
329
00:25:19.020 –> 00:25:24.780
I look at it. No one wants to join this club, but you do have this affinity with everyone you meet who is
330
00:25:25.020 –> 00:25:27.620
In the club been in the club or going through the club
331
00:25:28.140 –> 00:25:30.240
And and it is a weird human
332
00:25:30.240 –> 00:25:35.520
Connection that you have with these people and I think that that makes us good as human beings
333
00:25:35.520 –> 00:25:39.660
So that was rob stott cornish rob talking about his
334
00:25:40.680 –> 00:25:44.260
Diagnosis and his experience and his thoughts. So emma
335
00:25:44.260 –> 00:25:48.020
It’s great to have guys chat openly about cancer, isn’t it?
336
00:25:48.040 –> 00:25:51.140
It is because um, we’ve talked about it many times
337
00:25:51.140 –> 00:25:52.700
Women are quite happy
338
00:25:53.220 –> 00:26:00.560
Women are happier to talk about things than men. So it’s fantastic that he stepped up and and shared his story with us
339
00:26:00.560 –> 00:26:01.500
Thank you
340
00:26:01.500 –> 00:26:06.740
And he’s very funny with a lot of the stuff and humor is important, isn’t it?
341
00:26:07.020 –> 00:26:08.860
Humor gets you through so much doesn’t it?
342
00:26:09.700 –> 00:26:10.600
and uh
343
00:26:10.600 –> 00:26:16.740
Uh, I still got this idea of doing actually I chatted to rob about this about doing a show about
344
00:26:17.600 –> 00:26:19.520
Having humor during cancer
345
00:26:19.520 –> 00:26:22.100
Not everyone can cope with humor
346
00:26:22.640 –> 00:26:29.000
Once again, everyone’s different aren’t they very much so I mean humor used in the wrong way can be very destructive
347
00:26:29.000 –> 00:26:31.800
So yeah, you you’ve got to be careful how you use it
348
00:26:31.800 –> 00:26:34.890
But you know if if you’re suffering and humor helps you then
349
00:26:35.380 –> 00:26:36.540
Use it
350
00:26:36.540 –> 00:26:39.260
Okay. So what everyone?
351
00:26:39.920 –> 00:26:45.460
Well, okay nearly everyone. I suppose everyone likes empathy, don’t they?
352
00:26:45.460 –> 00:26:50.980
Yes, uh, yeah, like you said everyone not nearly everybody I think nearly everybody
353
00:26:50.980 –> 00:26:56.900
Yeah, we can’t we can’t we can’t generalize. We can’t speak for everybody can we but for everyone who does
354
00:26:57.660 –> 00:27:03.120
I think hugs are important. Oh, yeah hugs because of course when you give a hug you get a hug
355
00:27:03.120 –> 00:27:09.520
Okay, so we will be back again with more insight gentle insight and conversations
356
00:27:09.520 –> 00:27:14.720
Uh from people with lived experience. So, uh, see you next week
357
00:27:14.720 –> 00:27:16.540
Yeah until then tada
358
00:27:20.370 –> 00:27:28.720
Here to support you the core more cancer cafe podcast. Thanks to the national lottery community fund for supporting this podcast